I was supposed to be bringing you my Summer edit of the latest M&S collection today but sadly they’re still battling with their cyber incident and we can only keep on wishing the best for them. What a nightmare it must be with stock levels, I popped into the Newcastle store to see if they’d released many new styles but I could hardly see any at all so it looks as though they’re holding them back. I was surprised to see that the store wasn’t any busier than usual on a Saturday either so it must be a worry for them, it’s such an interesting retail conundrum and it shows just how reliant the world has become on a tech infrastructure doesn’t it? Until normal service is resumed I guess we should see it as our national duty to eat lots of M&S food over the next few weeks as a gesture of support! It means that I’ve arrived at today without anything planned so it’s just going to be a few photos of summery outfits – midlife lately chat. I’ve been through Mal’s camera roll and dug out what he has from the last few weeks. It makes me grateful that he so often takes a quick picture of whatever I’m wearing when we’re out and about.

Let’s start right back at the beginning of May, the first bank holiday weekend when we went down to London for the Brixton Disco Festival. In other years it’s clashed with our local one but like so many other events that was cancelled this year so we seized the opportunity to do something a bit different. Here we were having a late lunch as we arrived in Brixton on the Friday after a quick haircut – you can’t beat that feeling of a smooth salon blow dry can you?

For those of you who don’t know Brixton, it’s one of the most culturally diverse districts of London. We hadn’t been there since the 90s when it was home to The Fridge, one of the coolest nightclubs of the time. In those days it was seen as a seat of racial tension but it felt very different this time around. It’s still a cultural melting pot and everyone we came across was so friendly – in terms of smiles and chats with people in the street it was more like being in the North than London. Those of you who know it will see that we were exploring Brixton Market here – what a fantastic place that is with food stalls and eateries from all over the world, the shop behind me in this picture was selling lulos – the fruit we discovered and loved in Colombia. It was such a refreshing change from the usual overpriced and over fancy side of London. I was laughing here because the bar owner was begging me to come back, I’d left Mal chatting to him while I went for a look around and he was struggling to compute the Geordie sense of humour (as so many people do!).

Jumpsuit (gifted SS25); Gold and ivory Spezial trainers

It was so vibrant in the market that we went back again later for dinner and ate at a little Thai place with drinks we were able to buy from the independent wine shop a few doors away. I’d choose one of these idiosyncratic street food spots over a snazzy central London restaurant any day.

So the next morning was the one we’d been waiting for, the day of the disco festival. The eldest was a bit surprised when we booked our tickets as soon as they came out at Christmas. He’s used to the disco music we play at home which is generally more old school and so over the last few months he’s been repeatedly reminding us that this would veer more towards Disco House music – I don’t think your children ever imagine that your music tastes might extend beyond the ones they know do they? Anyway the event was held across multiple indoor venues in Brixton which turned out to be a good thing because the weather was changing from the lovely hot spell into something much cooler.

A little chat about what I’m wearing, the jeans and silver metallic vest are both pieces you’ve seen before. The jacket and ballet style trainers are new and some of my favourite wardrobe additions this season. The denim jackets that enjoyed such a resurgence over lockdown are now back in fashion’s cold store again and it’s hard to find an alternative at this time of year when you want something light in a fabric that works with summer clothes. This slim track top has been my saviour over the last few weeks, I absolutely love the fitted, cropped cut and as so much of my wardrobe has a navy base it works with most things. It has a slight sheen to it so it looks more elevated than the standard Firebird jacket and the cut’s much more stylish too – I’m wearing a large because it comes up small. I should add that it rolls up very small so it’s easy to stuff into the top of a handbag too.

The trainer style ballet flats sold out within days of launching so your only chance of getting them now is via an authorised reseller (try here) but they’re worth it if you’re someone who loves trainers but finds them hot to wear in summer. The silver is the best colourway in my view, they’re really comfortable and they work with everything.

Silver trainer style ballet flats

Slim track top; silver racer tee; Flared jeans; Silver trainer style ballet flats

So the afternoon kicked off in blazing hot sunshine, the eagle eyed amongst you might spot us in this picture. Norman Jay was beginning his first set and as you can see, the mood was already high amongst the crowd.

It was easy to wander between the different venues, this was the market takeover and I think it gives you a really good idea of what a fantastic mixed age crowd it was. This is why I love this kind of event, you get to talk to so many people you wouldn’t otherwise meet, everyone’s in a positive frame of mind and you can just immerse yourself in the collective effervescence.

After a while a very chilly wind whipped up so we moved on to Electric – which is The Fridge as we knew it back in the last century. Mal was much more of a clubber than I was in those days so he was very much back on his old stomping ground. The climax of the evening here was Dimitri from Paris whose mixes I’ve loved since I first heard one in a New York taxicab back in 1998.

I’ve borrowed this from the official photos because I just love it as an image of midlife women having their best time. There really is no need to stop dancing at this stage of life, if you just go out and do it you’ll be welcomed with open arms so don’t hold yourself back because you feel you’re too old. There’s a whole world out there filled with midlifers who continue to dance as if nobody’s watching and feel the joy of it in their lives.

So that was a day of great happiness. We didn’t stay out particularly late because the eldest was right and the deeper into the night it got, the further it moved towards thumping House music but that was fine, we’d had our fun. And after our immersion in the crowds I wasn’t surprised that when we got home I started to feel ill and went down with the virus that took me out for the next two weeks – the price of leaving the fresh northern air behind I often find!

So we’ll skip over the being unwell bit. As you know we had plans to go over to Newcastle for the weekend before my birthday. We were intending to drive over on the Friday morning and stay until Tuesday, perhaps returning the following weekend because there was a very slim chance of getting tickets for the football match. Our sister-in-law looks after the flat for us and so she popped in on the Tuesday to check everything and was straight in touch with Mal to say there had been a plumbing disaster. It was made worse by the fact that nobody had been in for a couple of weeks and so whatever had gone wrong had caused a lot of damage.

We’re usually pretty pragmatic about things like this but our flat in Newcastle is very much our sanctuary. Everything we have there is top spec, just as we want it and because only some of you along with our friends and family stay there it’s always pristine. On top of that we’ve had six months or more of domestic gremlins at home. As it so often does, everything seems to have gone wrong recently – boiler, washing machine, microwave, tumble dryer, cellar floods, car issues… you know how it goes, these things always come at once and even though you have a rainy day fund it can only withstand so much. Anyway disaster at the place that is supposed to be trouble-free really wasn’t something we needed.

We went to bed that night agreeing that as it had obviously happened a while ago there was no point in changing plans, we’d still go over on Friday and deal with it then. But when I woke up the next morning Mal’s side was empty – I discovered that he hadn’t been able to sleep for worrying and so he’d tiptoed out and driven over there in the middle of the night to see what he could do. I won’t go into the whole boring DIY story, let’s just say I feel very lucky to have such a practically skilled husband who was determined to do what he could so that the weekend of my birthday celebrations wouldn’t be too disrupted.

I stayed at home to finish my work and then drove over the next day – and driving is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about as a serious midlife issue. I have an increasing number of friends who’ve started to say they can’t/won’t/don’t drive any more. It’s something my mum did and as soon as my dad died it meant she was trapped, she had to rely on everyone else if she wanted to go somewhere. If it hadn’t been for Mal’s elbow operation last year I think not driving is something that would have crept up on me too. It’s just something that happens over the years – when the boys were little Mal would drive the long distances while I kept them entertained and we fell into a habit of him doing all of the long journeys. When he wasn’t allowed to drive for three months after his surgery, I had to take over and at first I found it really stressful.

There’s a fear that can creep up in midlife, for some reason you catastrophise about things like driving on the motorway and what could happen. With menopause you become aware that you perhaps don’t react as quickly as you did… and that your eyesight maybe isn’t as good… and countless other things that you tell yourself but they’re usually things that can be managed. Really it’s just a confidence issue, driving is simply about practice, you have to keep yourself in the driver’s seat. As midlife women we must remember that there’s a likelihood that we’ll outlive our partners and if we don’t drive we’ll lose so much of our independence, especially if we live rurally. And that’s something that I see so many women doing right now without thinking of the long term outcome. In the end I did nearly all of the driving for the whole of last year partly because Mal’s elbow ached but also because it hit me that I had to get my confidence back properly. And last week I was so glad that I had because I thought nothing of jumping in my car and driving over, singing away to the radio. Just 18 months ago I’d have been gripping the steering wheel all the way.

So this is one of those ‘teacher voice’ moments. If you’re somebody who is letting her driving slip away then stop now. Your (fit and healthy) 80 year-old self will be so thankful that you thought ahead to ensure she still had that level of independence.

Ok… stepping down from my soapbox, here I was arriving at the other end. I feel a sense of release as soon as I step out of the car in Newcastle. It’s the place where I can stop thinking, I move away from living in my head and just enjoy myself. I should warn you though that none of my outfits were planned out for a blog post, I’d just packed in a hurry at the end of the working day, throwing a few things together for a hot and sunny long weekend. By the time I got there Mal had done all of the remedial work that he could, now we just had to wait for everything to dry and then work out what needed replacing.

Jumpsuit Michaela Jedinack (past season); Boden shoes (past season)

To get away from it all we spent the next day working from the cafe at the Baltic Gallery which is a nice place to be, so many people came over to chat about my Remarkable and so it was almost like being in an office with water cooler conversations going on. We clocked off early and headed out into the sunshine – it’s such a novelty for us having buzzing urban riverside bars on our doorstep. This one is a summer pop-up and it has its own vegetable garden as you can see. You may remember me raving about these palazzo jeans/trousers hybrid when I bought them for our trip to Colombia, they’re really coming into their own now.

Whistles jacket (past season); Boden pointelle tee (past season); Palazzo jeans; Stories sandals (past season)

Saturday was bright and sunny but as so often happens in Newcastle, a chilly East wind had appeared. We popped out for my usual pilgrimage to Fenwick but for the first time in a while there was nothing exciting to see there, John Lewis and M&S are on my circuit but they were both disappointing too.

Guipure lace blouse; 70s flared jeans (gifted SS25); Sunglasses; Me+Em cardigan (past season); & Other Stories sandals – ancient

So on the way back we bought a few newspapers and retreated to The Broad Chare which has a sunny – and very importantly sheltered – garden. It’s so close to the flat, just off the busy quayside and yet not many people seem to know about the hidden garden so it was peaceful there.

Guipure lace blouse; 70s flared jeans (gifted SS25); Sunglasses; & Other Stories sandals – ancient

As Sunday dawned it was a tense day for the city. After a season of truly outstanding performances Newcastle were vying for a place in the top five as they approached their penultimate game which would secure them a place in the Champions’ League and it was tight. If you’d told me a few years ago that I’d care about something like this I wouldn’t have believed you but it’s all been part of the choices that I and also Mal have been consciously making at this stage in midlife so I’m going to talk about that a bit here.

I don’t come from a football family so it’s never been part of my life but Mal very much does. However, as the youngest of six siblings it’s something he rejected when he decided to choose rugby instead. You don’t realise the impact that your birthplace has on you do you until you’re older and you start to see how it’s affected the choices you’ve taken in life. Luckily we’re both youngest children and so we understand the need that we each had to be taken seriously when we were growing up. I’ve watched it playing out with my own three boys too. The thing is that as the youngest you so often feel patronised by your older siblings who seem to view you as the one who gets away with everything they didn’t. As such, you often make life choices simply to set yourself apart. There was a lot of pressure on me to be a teacher so I decided that it was the last thing I would do. I was lucky to have a flare for languages because nobody else did and so it gave me something of my very own.

Unlike his brothers, Mal didn’t have the build for playing football, he was far more useful on rugby’s front row. And so he deliberately rejected everything that his dad and brothers were so passionate about. Even so it still provided them with banter material that they used to wind him up, even as an adult – they particularly loved dressing our boys in Newcastle United gear which didn’t chime with our Surbiton vibes one bit! Since we’ve bought the flat over there though we’ve realised that it’s much easier to belong if we just adopt the local religion of football. It’s become a case of ‘if you can’t beat ’em. join ’em’ – it makes it easier for us to see people because so often their weekends are completely wrapped around it. So here I was, ready to go into the new street food and bar complex attached to St James’s Park stadium where you can watch the match on screens if you don’t have tickets.

The thing about football in Newcastle as I said a few weeks ago is that it’s far more than just a game loved by men. It’s a whole family thing as you’ll see if you watch the clip of video that I took below, it’s the very essence of their culture. Everybody goes out to watch it together so it’s a fun atmosphere and I absolutely love seeing the children singing all of the regional folk songs as well as the football chants.

We’ve realised that by joining in we’re embraced into the heart of everything and so it’s an easy way to belong – and I think belonging becomes increasingly important at this stage of life. It’s something I’ve been talking about a lot with friends recently. I’ve mentioned before that we had a strong sense of belonging where we live when the boys were at home because our life extended into theirs and we were always at rugby or watching one of their shows or part of something else that they were involved in. Since they’ve moved on, we feel far less a part of things and I think it’s the same for a lot of midlifers. So you have to think through the options – people we know are finding a midlife community at golf, at church, in ramblers groups, by going to the local pub, by supporting a team… there’s no right or wrong, it’s a case of finding things you enjoy. Joining in with Geordie football gives us a ready made community over there and it also links us with our boys who have a kinship with the club too.

One of the elements of ageing well is making sure that you remain a part of a big spiderweb of people and activities and you have to be proactive about it. It was so easy during the office or school playground days, communities of different kinds just grew up around you but often the thing that bound you was simply a lifestage. As you get older you find a lot of loose friendships start to dissipate so you have to be brave, you have to put yourself out there and connect with new people.

We had such a lovely afternoon and even though they lost, the mood stayed high. There was even a disco at St James’s afterwards so we were rewarded with even more spontaneous joy. With all of the families and children dancing around it felt a bit like a wedding – this football business just gets better and better!

I woke up the next day to find that I was 58. Mondays are a rubbish day for a birthday and it was dark and cold so I was glad we’d had a weekend of celebrating in the sunshine instead. We popped out for lunch and then I gave into the very rare indulgence of an afternoon nap – Mal declared I’d clearly aged overnight. He’d managed to get preview tickets that evening for Salt Path which is a film I’ve been looking forward to ever since it was announced. Everyman were showing it early to raise money for Shelter which was a fantastic idea and it was every bit as good as the book (always a worry don’t you find?). Of course Gillian Anderson was never going to do a bad job.

It’s shocking to see how easily life can spin on a sixpence though, even in midlife – and how little support there is if it happens. We’re all just a few short months and mistakes away from the people we see sleeping on the streets and it makes the UK that we live in today feel unthinkable. So do go and see it, even if just for the renewed gratitude that you’ll feel when you return to your warm bed with a roof over your head.

Polo top (gifted SS25); jeans; Nike X Patta collab trainers (sold out)

We’d planned to go home the next day but the middle one’s girlfriend had texted me to say that there was still a very, very tiny chance that through a family member she might be able to get us tickets for the match that weekend. The plumbing disaster still hadn’t dried out and there was more work to be done so we decided to stay for the rest of the week – and we’re lucky to be able to do that but… the weather had turned… and I’d only really packed for a short, warm weekend. One thing I’d done before I’d left was throw in a collection of cream jeans – I have too many and so I’d planned to try them all on and choose three pairs to keep so at least I had a few more options than I usually would. The ones you’ve already seen won the ‘for wearing with flats’ position.

Cotton textured jumper (gifted SS25); Cream palazzo jeans; Jigsaw silver bag (past season); Boden silver belt (past season); Turquoise and cream suede Spezial trainers

Sorry, this is getting a bit long now isn’t it? I’ll try to speed up. This was another work day but in what the boys have declared to be our most OAP moment yet we’d spotted that The Baltic Gallery was doing a lunchtime talk about kittiwakes so we popped over and finally solved the mystery as to why there are far fewer of them this year.

Sweatshirt past season – this season’s colours here; jeans; & Other Stories silver sandals (past season); Jigsaw bag (past season)

Apparently over the last two years there’s been a bout of sea bird flu and so the population has declined. Newcastle is the only place in the world where they’re currently recolonising and growing their numbers. It’s also the only place where they nest inland and you can get right up close to them on the viewing platform, it doesn’t bother them, apparently they’re social birds. They haven’t laid eggs yet, they’re late breeders so they’re just in the final stages of building their nests.

We’re so lucky having this place on our doorstep even if the cakes are a dangerous temptation.

Sweatshirt past season – this season’s colours here; jeans; & Other Stories silver sandals (past season); Jigsaw bag (past season)

Another day of work… but the bank holiday weekend was approaching which meant that Newcastle was lighting up around us. We’d spotted that there was a Latin American band playing and so we booked tickets to go along. We’ve kept our salsa lessons up since we got back from Colombia but haven’t yet come across the chance to dance as we want to. The thing about salsa is that it’s an incredibly friendly community but the socials centre around constantly changing partner to dance with other people. And I don’t mind that when it’s someone I know but I really, really don’t like dancing with strangers, especially as the physical contact feels quite intimate. Mal’s of the same mind and so unusually for us, if we go to a salsa event we dance together and then huddle in a corner hoping nobody will approach us.

We’d been wondering if it would be different if the focus was primarily on the music and it was. Everyone sat at their tables to listen and if they felt like dancing they got up and danced with the people they were with so we were happily left alone. It meant that for the first time we were able to feel that we’re getting there, we no longer have to count in our heads or keep stopping and starting to get through a whole dance – the muscle memory is starting to kick in and it’s joyful. So this was one of our best nights of the year so far – and I was glad that I’d put these barrel jeans in the car because you can’t dance in wide leg trousers without risking getting your feet caught and breaking something. I grabbed this top at Zara to add to my collection of jewelled satin halternecks.

Satin halterneck; Barrel jeans (gifted SS25); & Other Stories sandals (past season)

We finished work early on Friday and popped out to restock the food cupboards. This is the last pair of cream jeans that made the cut, they’re old favourites and the perfect length for a low heel.

T-shirt; Me+Em wide leg jeans (past season); Arket gold sandals (past season)

After a week of cold weather the sunshine was finally back, even if it was still windy so we went back to the sheltered garden for a quick drink on the way home. I love this t-shirt with its motto about the joy of doing nothing – perfect for an incoming bank holiday.

T-shirt; Sunglasses; Me+Em wide leg jeans (past season)

Later that evening we headed up to a salsa class and social. One thing I’ve learned when going to a proper salsa event is to dress down – I had a very grounding moment at the first one we ever went to in a nearby village after we came back from Colombia. With true northern candour a woman sitting at the same table as us leaned over and said, “I thought you were going to be really good dressed up like that.” Clearly I wasn’t – and so now my aim is not to stand out in any way at socials!

The class in Newcastle was a really good one but the social dancing was very social, I just don’t think the introvert side of me will ever get used to being held close by somebody I’ve never met before.

Whistles jacket; Barrel jeans (gifted SS25)

By Saturday I was starting to miss home and the boy and the pets, especially as the weather had been warm and sunny all week over there. As you can see it was cold and windy here but if you’re a MyZone user you’ll understand the sudden stress of realising you’re low on your target MEPs for the month hence the red tracker I’m wearing on my wrist.

T-shirt (gifted Ss25); Jeans; Whistles jacket (past season); Nike X Patta trainers (sold out)

So we walked out along the river amongst the trees to one of our favourite cafes and relaxed there for a while before speed-walking back.

Sunday brought us round to the football again and unsurprisingly for such an important match we didn’t get tickets so we repeated the Sunday before with the added excitement of them finishing in the top 5 (thank you Man U) and the toon erupting into a long night of celebration. On Monday it was time for home and a return to routine. The plumbing issues were resolved and so we’re hoping for a quiet few weeks ahead where nothing goes wrong.

The youngest sat the last of his University Finals this afternoon so today feels like quite a big day, the end of our involvement with full time education. His girlfriend finished yesterday so they’re spending the weekend together in Leeds celebrating. It’s hard to believe that the two who met as young Sixth Formers have now both finished their degrees. Of course as they’re graduating from the same course that I did I’m particularly fascinated to watch what they do next. Our boy is staying in Leeds until the lease runs out his student house in early July because he has a very nice job working at Headingley Stadium during the cricket matches. Then we’ll see… it feels like yet another new chapter ahead for our family. This has been a long post so thank you for reading if you’ve got this far, I’ll stop talking now but I’ll be back next week with something… I’m not sure what.

Disclosure: ‘Summery outfits – midlife lately’ is not a sponsored post

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