This year is turning into a runaway train for us, we’ll be a third of the way through it next week and so far I’ve spent far more nights away than I have at home. I have so many stories to tell you about the things we’ve been doing and life in general and I’m running to catch up so today I’m going to take you back to Mexico for the third part of our adventure there. Even though it was a mid-winter holiday for us it doesn’t feel untimely because everybody I know is starting to think about summer trips so it also gives me a chance to chat about beach style before everything sells out. Plus I can tell you about one of the most moving experiences I’ve ever had, not exactly a bucket list moment because it wasn’t anything I’d ever imagined doing but it was very, very special so, here we go – midlife magic on Mexico’s Pacific Coast.
Midlife magic on Mexico’s Pacific Coast
At the end of my last post about Mexico we were reluctantly leaving Oaxaca. You might remember that as well as being Valentine’s Day, it was Carnaval the night before our departure and we’d celebrated with a few too many margaritas which didn’t help our early start. On top of the lethargy that I was feeling we planned to do the next part of the journey by bus and I had no idea what to expect. So here we were, (not so) bright and early at the bus station. Mal was hoping for a rustic journey with chickens and goats… I absolutely was not!
Boden dress SS25; Sandals; Sunglasses
And my prayers were answered. Because there are so few rail options in Latin America the coaches and buses are something else. We had reclining seats with pillows and foot beds, full air con and seatback screens with movies. They were all in Spanish which was good for me and even Mal managed to settle down happily with the kids’ cartoons.
So apart from a few hair-raising moments on narrow hairpin bends (making me wish we’d sat on the other side) it was a very easy way to spend half a day. Here we were on arrival with all of the backpackers, waiting for our bags to be offloaded, feeling slightly stunned by the heat and humidity of a new climate. Our journey had taken us over the Oaxacan mountain range and down into the Pacific town of Puerto Escondido on Mexico’s Pacific Coast. Escondido means hidden and that’s what we wanted, a hideaway far from the overdeveloped resorts that line the Caribbean.
Where we stayed on Mexico’s Pacific Coast
After lots of research I’d found a place where we could detach from the outside world and I completely forgot that my last Instagram dispatch had been as we were heading towards the bus station. After a couple of days we switched our phones back on to find lots of panicky ‘where are you?’ messages so this was our update (and I’ve deliberately made the videos low res so that they load easily – that’s why they’re a bit fuzzy)
There were just eight luxury beach huts on the resort and it was very much targeted at honeymooners but we felt absolutely happy there. Each couple was enjoying their own bubble, people were polite and said hello every morning but other than that it was a place for peace and quiet, dedicated to nothing more than reconnecting with your other half. Here’s a speeded up walk through.
Our little slice of heaven in Mexico
We found we were shattered for the first few days – the previous two weeks spent packing as much as we could into Mexico City and Oaxaca had taken their toll. So it was good to switch off and in a way do what we’d travelled to Mexico for… indulge in a relaxed celebration of our 25 years together. I think this photo sums up how we felt once we’d rested – the pure euphoria of being far, far away from everything and everyone. There was nothing for miles in either direction.
Well I say nothing but every morning as we relaxed over breakfast the humpback whales came to say hello. It was breeding season so absolutely the best time to be there and look how close to us this mother and baby came. There were dolphins to watch as well as rays jumping high out of the sea. We got so used to them that there were times when I looked up from my book and felt as if I was living in the cocoon of a children’s cartoon where happy sea creatures frolic around you and nobody bats an eyelid.
Outings on Mexico’s Pacific Coast
And I realise that quite a few people are planning Mexico trips based on our itinerary so it’s important that you know that Lu Vée Oasis is miles from anywhere. I don’t think that will be the case for long because it’s on such a beautiful stretch of coastline and we could see that the infrastructure is being built for more hotels and restaurants but at the moment, you drive through a building site until suddenly you reach this tiny resort. If you’re somebody who likes to wander out in the evenings it won’t be for you. We went out twice during our eight days there and going back into the real world felt like a brutal culture shock.
We’d booked a food tour of Puerto Escondido so reception ordered a cab for us (cost about £30 e/w so you have to be sure you want to go there). Puerto Escondido itself is a new settlement that developed in the early part of the 20th century. It has a surfer vibe, there are lots of backpackers and hostels. I know a lot of people find it charming, we didn’t. This is the food tour that we did but it was run by an agency so it lacked the personal insights of the people who design these tours themselves. We did however have some great food in places that ranged from street food to high cuisine.
As we’d arrived early Mal decided to pop into a Mexican barber’s shop first and ended up having the most pampering experience he’s ever known for the princely sum of £4. I waited, trying not to tap my feet, quietly reminding myself of the many, many hours he’s spent hanging around near hair salons for me!
After a few nights we found ourselves in a mood to go out again and so we headed to Zicatela which is a little further round the coast (£40 in a taxi e/w). We liked it better than Puerto Escondido because it had more character; it was still very much a surfer resort with sandy roads and lots of food shacks but it had a friendly, upbeat vibe. We queued for Fish Shack, the restaurant that our guide Gilberto back in Oaxaca had told us we mustn’t miss and he was right. We had the best fish tacos of our lives there. And some of the best margaritas in Mexico too.
I was aware of the very lovely young English backpacker girls on the bench next to us who were carefully sharing a single portion between them so I felt guilty when Mal declared the tacos to be so good that we needed more. But then I reminded myself that I’ve been there, backpacking at eighteen with a food and accommodation budget of £5 a day. I deliberated over whether I’d trade my extra helping and the luxurious cabana that I’d be returning to for their youthful glow… and decided, with gratitude, that I wouldn’t.
Other than that we stayed put and relaxed where we were, spending our days by the pool with a walk along the coast every evening before dinner to watch the sun setting. You can’t help but be intrigued by other guests when you’re spending long lazy days alongside them like this. I chatted occasionally to a Canadian midlifer who told me in great detail about how she was adopting the bouncy dog who lived on the beach … but didn’t allude to the romantic interest who was travelling with her, a handsome and intelligent sounding young chap in his twenties. On the first morning at breakfast I’d thought how lovely it was that she was away with her son… and then realised that he certainly wasn’t her son! Of course it was none of my business but as I watched them the midlifer in me wanted to cheer her on… whereas the mother of 20 year-old sons was surprised to find herself conflicted.
And there was a salutary tale from another midifer who arrived just as we were spending our last hour by the pool, dressed and ready to leave. She was plus size and it was good to see her unselfconsciously wandering around in her swimsuit and then relaxing in the pool with her husband. I envied them their first day vibes just as we were at the start of our journey home. But then she needed to get out of the pool which had the usual ladder option or low, gradual steps. And she just couldn’t get out, she didn’t have the strength in her hamstrings and quads.
Her husband tried pushing her from behind, pulling her from in front… she was getting more and more embarrassed… Mal wondered whether he should go over to help but realised he’d need to get changed first. In the end another man went in and they managed to lever her from behind. It was one of those moments when you realise just how crucial it is to keep an eye on your mobility and strength at this stage in life. She clearly hadn’t expected to have lost the power in her legs/the confidence in her balance and I just hope it didn’t ruin the rest of her stay.
One of the things I really loved about being at this resort was that it was completely barefoot and there was absolutely no need to get dressed beyond beachwear. We went to breakfast ready for the pool and in the evenings I simply showered and put the next day’s clean beach dress on so it was a good rotation and it made my packing capsule very light for this section of our trip. Every year I invest in another great piece of beachwear and I’ve gradually built up a collection that makes me feel great when we’re away so I’m going to talk more about that at the end of the post.
The experience of a lifetime on Mexico’s Pacific Coast
There was something really good about letting our world shrink after the previous two weeks which we stuffed to the brim with culture, art and history that blew our minds wide open. And as we were wandering along the beach one evening on one of our sunset walks, we came across this…
… a turtle sanctuary run entirely by volunteers. After chatting with them for a while they said that in return for a donation we could spend some time with them later in the week so we went to learn about what they do.
You see the biggest threat to turtles all around the world is humans. They’re prized for their meat, their eggs and the oil from their shells. We’d noticed quad bikes driving up and down the beach but hadn’t realised that it was these volunteers who patrol 24 hours a day to try to find the mounds where the turtles have laid their eggs before the predators get to them. We were lucky because just as we arrived a volunteer came back with a sack full and so we watched the whole egg rescue process.
A turtle lays about a hundred eggs each time she comes to shore and yet only five percent of them survive in the wild. The volunteers here were fastidious, carefully preparing a hole with fresh sand and then gently burying the eggs deep inside with gloved hands.
Then they were covered, dated and left in peace alongside all the other rescues in various stages of their lifecycle. The nets surround the eggs that are due to hatch and the green bowls are holding the ones who have just made their way to the surface, ready to be released into the sea.
As the sun started to dip, the bowls were placed in the light which helped the sleepy turtles to wake up, ready to make their first journey.
Once they were moving we took them down to the edge of the waves and the volunteers used gloved hands to transfer them into gourds so that we could help them on their journey without transferring any human germs.
The best time to let them go is just as the sun meets the horizon because it gives them a clear focus to aim for so we kept them in our care for a little while, watching them scrabble, eager to be free
And then it was time to let them go and live their lives which felt surprisingly emotional. I guess it was a parallel of the empty nesting journey that we’re still going through. There’s something poignant about watching any living creature broaching the future with hope and determination. So let me share the moment with you which was quite tense because a seagull was circling and the volunteers were fending it off with laser torches. My hero turtle soon got the idea, Mal’s on the other hand dawdled about for a full five minutes before it finally got its feet wet!
So that was our blissful week by the ocean where there was nothing to focus on but each other and the simplicity that life can hold when you leave everything else behind. Since the boys headed off we’ve learned how much these times boost our relationship regeneration. We’ve identified that you need three elements: time, space and distance from your everyday lives and, most specifically, your everyday home to rediscover each other. Newcastle gives this to us every three weeks but a trip to what felt like one of the earth’s perimeters was even more powerful. By this point, our last evening there, we felt as if our relationship was recharged to the hilt and ready to move on to the next stage – which is what you hope for from a silver wedding celebration.
But before the final trip home we had one more adventure ahead – and hopefully I’ll have time to tell you about that soon in one last Mexican episode.
Building a beachwear collection for life
For now though let's talk about beachwear because the shops are fully stocked and it's already selling out. As a friend said to me last week, "I can't control whether the plane will have fuel to fly but I feel better knowing that I'm going to look damned good if I do get to that beach!" The annoying thing is that as retailers reduce their inventory to save costs in the current climate, proper beachwear is something they're really holding back on so I've had to trawl hard to find you some good examples.
I know there's a belief that the chicest thing to wear on the beach is a loose cotton shirt and yes, it looks great when you head out in the morning but when it's been squashed at the bottom of the beach bag and coated in sticky sun cream it's a tricky one to pull off. Pure cotton jersey is another fabric that I avoid because it's heavy and so it doesn't have that wafty reference that you want in the sun, it just ends up looking hot and limp.
When we're running the Midlifechic Retreats I talk through the Bumps In The Road feedback that over 1000 readers gave me a couple of summers ago. There's lots of detail in there including the fact that a number of readers wished they'd invested in great beachwear before they retired because getting something that looks great can be pricey and it feels like a luxury too far once budgets are constrained. And that's a shame because presumably that's when you're finally able to do lots of travel and you'd love to look your best. So let me show you what I've found. Pieces that will give you that light, wafty look but they'll also give you shape. Nobody wants to feel as though they're throwing a sack on to go to the beach bar.
I' going to start with a new version of the dress that I bought a few years ago and you see me wear endlessly on holiday. It's the one I have on in the video here and people have always asked me where to get it. For the first time in a few years it's been rereleased. I have it in pink and white and it's the one I always reach for first because it never creases so on the first morning of your holiday when you just want to get straight out there, it looks immaculate. Plus the straps are pretty in any photo you take sitting at a table. The jersey is a light slub so it's wafty and it moves beautifully as you walk along. It's also available in aqua blue.
Shades of blue for the beach
Here are some other options, all colour coded – I like to pack capsules of bikinis with co-ordinating beach dresses so that I can change things up every day.
Top to bottom, L-R
- Air Flow dress: the dress version of a barrel jean, a breathable viscose blend available in five colours
- Shaped bodice dress: light and airy with great shape held at the back by gentle shirring, this has 5 star reviews and it's great value
- Turquoise dress with sleeves: sheer, soft, ecovero jersey, a comfortable drape for hot days and a belt to cinch you in at the waist
- Seersucker beach dress: the seersucker gives this cotton great texture and makes it less likely to crease. Light and wafty with adjustable straps
Pinks and patterns for the beach
L-R, top to bottom
- Pink crochet beach dress: this has 30% off at the moment so it's great value, made from silky modal with crochet trim to elevate the look
- Chevron stripe beach dress – one of my favourite styles, an investment but worth it for the dramatic cut and immaculate pattern matching
- Long sleeve pink and green pattern dress – this is selling quickly which isn't surprising because with its pintuck detail it looks far more expensive than it is
- Pink tasselled popover – an easy one to throw on in crinkled organic cotton that will keep you cool and avoid creasing
Tropical oranges and reds
- Strappy orange dress: this is almost identical to the one I'm wearing in this post but a fraction of the price which makes me grit my teeth!
- Orange halter dress: a beach dress that would work for evening too in a beautiful, floaty cotton voile
- Orange neck detail dress: another one that's great value, I wish they did different colours! A crinkle cotton and linen blend with a lovely side split detail
- Plum coloured dress: just lovely in real life but almost sold out now, catch this one if you can because it looks three times as expensive as it actually is and there's swimwear to match
So that's everything from me today. Thank you for your messages re mum-in-law last week, it was challenging. It's very difficult to put safeguarding measures in place for somebody who is so feistily independent despite her increasing unsteadiness. For the first time last week she didn't recognise Mal for a while which shook him. Life is full of ups and downs isn't it?
