I want to say thank you for all of the thoughtful messages that you’ve left in the comments, in emails and via social. Realistically I’m not going to manage to reply to you but we’ve read them all and they’ve meant the world – especially to Mal. It’s only a few months since I was having a clearout and came across all the cards that I was sent when my mum and dad died. I remember it being a huge comfort to have them around the house, particularly during this strange time between the death and the funeral when you’re alternating between being very busy organising everything and then sitting in a lull with your thoughts. Sadly people don’t send cards any more but the volume of messages that have come through from you as well as friends and family have helped us all to feel cared for.
So, as I say, we’ve been busy with arrangements (the funeral is next Friday) and when we haven’t, we’ve been trying to keep busy with other things because I don’t think we’ll be able to come to terms with what’s happened until we go over to Newcastle next week. Life here remains the same but over there everything will be different and that’s when it will start to sink in. I sat down on Monday feeling I wanted to write a blog post, that’s why I’m here but we’re not sleeping and my head’s a bit fuzzy so it won’t be a long one. I’m going back into the comfort of chatting about clothes and luckily I’d already taken most of these photos of a try-on.
Let’s recap a little with where I am at the moment in my relationship with my dressing room. As you know I’ve started a clearout and it’s all part of my year-long project of gearing up to sixty, most of which I’m doing on Instagram but I’ll be referencing it here. I’m determined to hit sixty with my wardrobe feeling exactly right for the woman I’ve grown into. I want it to feel strong and sculptural (to match the sculptured torso I’m hoping to have when I can ever get back to the gym properly!). There’s no room for anything too pretty or girly. That was never really my mood and those days are now most definitely behind me, I’m fully focused on embracing ‘woman’. The older women I admire are confident in their womanliness, they’re not afraid to be strong and sexy and they don’t hide behind anything.
That’s not to say I’m going full on Iris Apfel, I still need clothes that will work for the rural side of my life but even those need to have shape and substance. I’m telling you all of this because it will explain why I’m being so careful about letting anything new in. I’m asking Mal or one of the boys to take a quick snap of every piece I try on so that I can view it objectively. Never rely just on looking in the mirror because whatever’s going on in your head at that moment will get in the way. You need to step back in order to view a piece clinically.
So this was a recent order of things I wanted to try. I knew I wouldn’t keep them all but they were simple wardrobe building blocks that were stuck in my head. Most are from Me+Em, the brand that works best on my body. I’ve been growling at them all season over their obsession with brown. It’s a colour that needs contrast to come alive, deeper colouring and darker hair give it something to play against, whereas on someone fair and blonde like me it just goes flat. If I wear brown in summer I look like a drab sparrow.
I’ll just add that I’d hoped to do this update from M&S but when I went into their sizeable Newcastle store I couldn’t find a single thing I liked/that was of decent quality. There’s so much press and creator content around them at the moment but the thing worth knowing is that it’s partly fuelled by their very generous and quite unique click structure. Anybody sending clicks through to their site is highly rewarded and that’s why they have so much coverage. It’s very clever marketing. I’ll go in again next week when we’re over there to see if there’s been a new drop because I want to believe that they’re as reinvented as everybody says but last time the proof just wasn’t there.
I’m looking mostly for tops that work for a British summer. We didn’t have the heatwave that everybody in the south complained about last year, it was, as ever, damp and cool in the north. As I type this at the beginning of June I’m sitting next to the radiator still wearing socks which makes me furious but it is what it is. So I need things that look like summer but still feel warm in these cooler climes. T-shirts that have longer sleeves but don’t look too ‘great aunt,’ soft knits that can be worn buttoned low… there was a dress that I couldn’t resist adding to my cheesecloth ‘easy laundry’ collection, as well as a summer update on my favourite jeans and what looked to be the cut of white jean that I’ve been seeking for years.
Summer wardrobe over 50 – the tricks that reshape your silhouette
What I’m assessing when I do a try-on
It’s taken me most of my fifties to work out how to dress in a way that really flatters my body architecture. As part of the project that I’m going to be doing on Instagram over the next twelve months I’ll be talking about the specific wins on there. Most of you have lived through it with me and so you don’t need me to go into as much detail here. To take my mind off things today though I’m going to talk through what it is that I now look for when an order arrives at my door.
When I’m trying things on like this with a photo for objective reference I’m looking at them very carefully. I’m always trying to correct my proportions (long body, short legs, pear shaped hips that taper down to my upper thigh). I’m looking for length-giving features and if any piece has a vertical line detail (deep V-neck, feature buttons or a zip down the front, stitched seams on trousers or jeans…) then it’s almost always a keeper. As is anything that has a detail that moves the eye across the body rather than letting it settle at one point – ruching, shirring, asymmetry, a flared sleeve, a halterneck or racer neckline… a ruffle at a push but never anything girly like bows or frills.
Anything that comes into my wardrobe now has to have an enhancing feature. I’m working harder than ever for my money so each new piece has to give me a boost in some small way whenever I put it on. With that context let me talk you through my try-on.
For cooler summer days
I’m starting with a tee that has sleeves to suit a cooler day. The volume is part of the drama, the sleeves become a deliberate feature rather looking like upper arm disguisers. The good thing about the narrow stripe is that it makes this top easy to pair with blues of all shades. If you have a wider, distinctive stripe it has impact but the more visible shade definition limits the blues that you can pair it with. The contrast around the collar is a nice feature that underpins its quality – thought has clearly gone into the design of this piece. I’m wearing a 12 and it’s true to size.
Now the jeans I’m wearing are this year’s version of my favourite flares which have now been discontinued. A few people have asked me what the difference is so I needed to try them. My favourites are known as the travel jeans because they have a lot of forgiving stretch in them, you really could wear them for a long haul flight. This iteration has no stretch but it’s a lighter weight denim so better if you like to wear jeans in summer. They’re in a perfect summer blue wash and notice the distinctive stitching on the front seam which gives you a glorious leg-lengthening line. They’re a straight wide-leg rather than flared and the pockets are perfect – lean with no gaping. And there’s a much sturdier side zip on these than the others – I’ve had to have mine replaced quite a few times.
I’m wearing the 12 short here and they’re very high waisted which adds to their leg-lengthening powers but they’re a neat fit so you may want to order two sizes to try. As always they’re long – the short for me is just about right for wearing with flats. If I was wearing any kind of heel I’d need the regular.
The white blouse without the faff
Here’s another picture of them this time with a summer blouse. So why did I pick this blouse out? It’s a classic summer look but it’s cheesecloth which makes it easy care – wash it, hang it out on the line in the breeze and you’ll most likely get away without any ironing. I find cheesecloth is warmer on cooler days and yet also cool on warmer days, I don’t know how that works but it does. The broderie element is geometric so it’s chic rather than pretty. The sleeves are half sleeve for extra coverage (ie warmth). And as always, the buttons have been placed perfectly so that you can open it low as I have here to create a good, visually slimming vertical line if you want to. Or you can button it. It’s one of those pieces that works for everyone. I’m wearing a 12 which is true to size but as I prefer less volume on my top half I’ll probably exchange it for a 10.
Reducing the breadth of your upper torso
This is one for people with wide shoulders. You can’t beat the power of a defined raglan tee, it works in the same way as a halterneck by placing a diagonal line across the shoulder area, visually narrowing it. This is a simple, sporty piece at a reasonable price. It will earn its keep for anyone who has a lot of navy in their wardrobe because it gives you the ability to sandwich dress. You can see how well it balances with the dark indigo jeans that I already have for a polished effect. The ivory is much kinder to warm skintones than white and the ribbing means that it doesn’t pull over the chest. This is the level of detail that a piece has to have if it comes into my wardrobe now.
Rebalancing a pear shape
I have two pieces to talk about here. Let’s start with the jeans which I bought a while ago but haven’t had a chance to wear yet – it’s either been too hot or (mostly) too cold and wet. They are my absolutely favourite cut because by kicking out into a flare at the bottom, they cancel out my pear-shaped hips that taper down to my upper thigh. Wide-leg jeans do that too but they’re not quite as flattering because they just hang from your widest point. If you’re wearing wide jeans always look for a fluid denim rather than a stiff one. So yes I love these jeans, I bought both the regular and short in a 12 to try but kept the short because I definitely don’t want white jeans to brush the ground.
The top I’m wearing is in my favourite bubblegum pink. It’s in a light alpaca wool blend which adds softness to a jeans outfit or when worn with linen or cotton. You can see that the slightly shrunken fit is deliberately balanced to sit perfectly with the rise of the jeans, skimming over the waistband. For me the ability to wear the neck open like this along with the definition of the full button placket is giving a slimming vertical line that you just wouldn’t get with a shortsleeved jumper. It’s a simple trick but a good one to have at the back of your mind. I’m wearing a medium and it’s bang on.
The most flattering dress shape for my body type
I’ve waited ages for this to arrive, it was supposed to come in time for our trip to Logroño in April but delivery delays are now starting to hit all retailers. Anyway here it is, the perfect colour for me to add to my collection of easy care summer dresses that work whether I’m at home, in Newcastle or on holiday. The key thing for me with these dresses is the deep V plunge; it’s that vertical line again that takes away from my round face and broad shoulders. The defined waist that sits high rebalances the length of my legs, the volume of the skirt skims out over my pear-shaped hips and the whole thing just brings everything back into proportion. The fabric has the same breezy structure as linen but without the creasing. A 12 is true to size.
And that’s everything from me today. I might post next week, I’ll see how things go, we’ll be based over in Newcastle getting everything ready and waiting for people to start arriving. I can’t help thinking how much my mum-in-law would’ve loved to be there, with all of her family and friends around her. We’ll be glad to have our three boys with us, doing their grandma proud. The good thing is that as we’ve been chatting over our family WhatsApp, all of the memories have been happy ones with them sharing lots of videos they’ve taken of the times she had us all laughing. So there’s a thought for us all – won’t it be nice if, when we go, we’re remembered with a smile and a chuckle and a “do you remember the time she…?”
