Rewind to 1985 – a 40 year style celebration

I’m sure you’re already aware that we’re living through a period of nostalgia – it’s been happening for a while, people looking back to safer, simpler feeling times. You see it with the throwbacks that are going on everywhere – in fashion, in food, in music… amongst the older generations who remember an offline era that was slower and less pressured… and throughout the younger generations too. Top of the Gen Z Christmas wishlist was a ‘vintage’ 90s digital camera, so you can imagine how popular Mal was when he pulled one out of his desk drawer. Apparently the young are feeling overwhelmed by the high definition of today’s phone cameras and long for the era of slightly hazy pictures that captured the moments of  joy on your face… but didn’t highlight every single pore. As those of you who followed my musings on Instagram Stories when I was in Colombia know, I’ve been feeling nostalgic too. A mixture of regret for not using my languages degree… for not travelling more in my 20s… for limiting my skills by not acknowledging that sometimes you have to be bad at something for a while if you ever want to be good… juxtaposed with a realisation that midlife is a new beginning and so there are fresh opportunities to do all of those things now. So when White Stuff got in touch to invite me to help them celebrate their 40th birthday with a rewind back to 1985, it felt unbelievably apt because 1985 was a significant year for both them and me. So buckle up and let’s rewind to 1985 – a 40 year style celebration.

Rewind to 1985 – a 40 year celebration

How 1985 panned out for me

It’s a year that I remember very clearly because it was full of milestones. I passed my driving test in March which really opened life up – with a dad who was generous with his car keys I was able to escape the rural village that we lived in and visit friends in town whenever I wanted to. I had my 18th birthday party in May, 100 people came and I remember it snowed which was weird for that time of year.

That was followed swiftly by A Levels and the end of school which was sad – I loved school and I’m still in touch with lots of my old friends there – over 50 are coming to our 40th reunion in October and I can’t wait.

A Levels were followed by an inter-rail trip with three of my best friends – if driving had opened my world up in March then travelling on a whim from one country to another by train helped me to expand my new worldview ten times more.

Then in October  I went to Nottingham University to study French and Spanish – four years of focusing on the subjects I loved the most felt like a dream come true.

How accurate are our memories?

The interesting thing about memories is that we tend to pin them on the good times and so that often gives us a rose tinted perspective, making us feel that life isn’t as good as it was. When I started writing this post last weekend I decided to dig out these 1985 photos to bring it to life. Unfortunately all of mine were lost in a cellar flood soon after we moved here so I had to go through the few I have from my mum’s albums. And as well as the smiling party photos that I remember from my own collection I saw a different side of myself… not the outgoing girl who appeared to have everything going for her… but the anxious introvert who hid beneath.

There’s the old adage that the camera never lies and I often think it’s true when you look at Instagram. Lots of people can turn on what used to be known as the Pan Am smile but most humans can instinctively see past that – we sense a true smile when we see one. A genuine ‘duchenne’ smile lights up lots of additional involuntary muscles in the cheeks and eyes as well as the mouth and it’s very hard to fake. When I look back at most of these candid photos taken by my mum took in 1985, what I see is apprehension hidden under a quiet reserve.

The thing is that when I think back to that time there were two versions of life going on. At school I was happy and successful, I found Sixth Form easy doing subjects I loved surrounded by girls I’d known since I was eleven, meeting up with the boys’ school for coffee at the end of the day. Things at home were different though. When I was ten my dad had a huge heart attack, we had to move house just as I was starting secondary school and his health continued to get worse. My mum was in poor health too and they’d talk a lot about what would happen to me if they were no longer around. They meant well – I think in their minds they were preparing me for an eventuality but it rocked my foundations. I didn’t feel safe and I can see that in these pictures.

Here I was at my summer job working in the village chippy, building up funds to top up my grant…

… and saying goodbye to my parents as university life began.

The photos have reminded me that although we see our youth as a halcyon age, without all of the wisdom and experience that we have in midlife, we were vulnerable and fragile. It’s important to remember that, especially as so many of us have children/ young adults of that age now.

So if I could be a fairy godmother, what would I say to that girl who felt lost?

I’d love you to stop worrying – I wish I could tell you that your dad will have pioneering heart surgery in a few years time that will give him a new lease of life and your mum is much stronger than she seems. Your parents will be around for as long as you need them most… so you can step into your adult life with confidence – you’re not going to have to face it alone as you fear that you will. There’s no way of you knowing that now though and so your fear will lead you to marry far too soon, to hand your future to the first man who asks you, somebody who at the time you will only have known for five short weeks.

You’ll do it because you think you’ve found a lifeboat but he isn’t what he seems and you’ll quickly find yourself being sucked down into a terrifying vortex. Your 20s will feel very hard as you struggle to keep your head above water for eight long and painful years but please know that at the end of it there will be the brightest ray of light. You’ll have your first, precious son and you will fight harder for him to be happy than you’ve ever fought for yourself. You will be the ones to save each other. And your parents will be right behind you in the battle, they’ll be there to support you unflinchingly.

The good news is that you will never regret that marriage because it gave you your wonderful son. And even though the experience will damage you, you will come out of it a better version of yourself. It will teach you how easy it is for people to find themselves trapped in lives they never thought they’d lead and so you will develop a core value of never judging people. That understanding will help you to help others over the years.

You will go on to meet somebody who is absolutely golden, he will help you to pick up the pieces that are left of you and patiently stand by your side as you put yourself back together. He will love your son as much as he loves you and he will understand your need to return to your roots so that you can live between the hills, the trees and the sea. You will have the family with three children that you’ve always wanted and you will work very hard to stay healthy for them so that they can grow up with the confidence of knowing that their foundations are solid.

Be glad that being rich was never one of your values because you won’t be… well not in terms of money and assets… but you will be so very rich when it comes to love. And so you will be happy. In fact you’ll keep on getting happier, stronger and more confident until you reach the age of 58. My crystal ball can’t see further than that but by then you’ll know who you are and what you stand for, so your own foundations will feel solid at last.

If White Stuff hadn’t contacted me about their rewind celebrations I wouldn’t have focused on 1985 in this way, I’d have hit my school reunion in October only with the perspective of the good times. However it’s important to recognise that life can be hard-going sometimes, even when there are lots of exciting plans going on around you. So what can I take from it? I realise that I still sometimes let fear mute my life. Like so many women I know, I find it easy to worry about all kinds of random things that prey on my mind and they’re worries that very rarely turn out to be valid. So I need to remember that even if things are feeling tough, it isn’t worth leaching all of the colour out of life. Worry is like fog and when you let it take over, you miss out on so much.

Rewind – 40 years of White Stuff

Just like a human, a brand goes through a lot to survive for 40 years and come out with its original values as clear as they were at the beginning as White Stuff has done. Not many of the key retail players from 1985 are still standing strong. When I look back to the joys of shopping in Nottingham in 1985 I think of Next in its glory days… then there was Oasis which did beautifully colour blocked basics along with Benetton. Oh and Monsoon, eclectic… distinctive. None of these brands have survived in the same way as White Stuff which has stayed consistently true to its original mission of designing great quality, practical pieces for slightly maverick people who love the hills and the sea.

Most of the brands that were big in 1985 have been closing their shops and retreating into mail order whereas White Stuff started with catalogues but is still opening new stores around the world every year. It’s a fascinating retail story proving that when a brand is based on personal passion rather than greed for profit, it thrives. It all started back in 1985 when the founders George and Sean were trying to find a way to fund their love for skiing. So they loaded a 2CV with their ‘Boys From The White Stuff’ t-shirts, selling them to tourists in the French Alps. In summer they did the same thing with surfers. Along the way they took photographs of all the real people who were wearing their clothes to put in their first catalogues. And White Stuff continues to do that – they still use community groups as models in their marketing.

To celebrate their 40th birthday they’ve brought back a small collection of their original designs – you’ll remember them well. They work perfectly for my everyday life, based between the hills and the sea as you’ll see. And because it’s a special celebration, they invited Mal to come out from behind the camera and appear in full colour too. These photos were taken on our first weekend back from Colombia – luckily the two eldest boys were at home and could be bribed with fish and chips in return for capturing a few moments.

As you know I’m a big believer in ageless style and there’s something joyful about still wearing the same timeless looks as 40 years ago. I have the unisex sweatshirt on here, not only is it a classic but it’s bang on trend at the same time. Marine style is huge for SS25 – I’ll be talking more about it more next week but for now, know that crisp navy and white or ivory is the most wearable fashion of the season.

Mal’s wearing White Stuff’s much loved, classic straight jeans… and Ted’s hoping to wear any of our shoes if he can get his teeth on them.

Nikki – striped half zip; plimsolls with metallic fleck | Mal – tipped t-shirt; straight jeans; navy plimsolls

You can see the lovely detail on the t-shirt Mal’s wearing here with its blue and copper tipped collar and the cross stitch detailing at the side. It’s made from heavy cotton, the high level of quality that you expect from White Stuff.

Nikki – striped half zip; plimsolls with metallic fleck | Mal – tipped t-shirt; straight jeans; navy plimsolls

My half zip has embroidered detail on the reverse of the collar. In terms of fit, he’s wearing a large and it’s true to size as are the jeans. My half zip is unisex and so I’m wearing an extra small. We bumped into my auntie and cousin just after we’d taken this photo, everyone was out turning their faces to the first burst of warm spring sunshine.

Nikki – striped half zip; plimsolls with metallic fleck | Mal – tipped t-shirt; straight jeans; navy plimsolls

And here you see the return of the very first ‘boys from…’ ‘girls from…’ half zips, brought back by popular demand… utterly timeless… utterly ageless. The boys’ version is available in this beautiful blue as well as a rich red or yellow; the girls’ comes in the sea blue I’m wearing here as well as pink or khaki. For proper 1980s style I’ve paired mine with White Stuff’s weekend jeans which are exactly the same cut and wash as the ones I was wearing in the pictures above in 1985.

Nikki – half zip; jeans; plimsolls with metallic fleck | Mal – half zip; straight jeans; navy plimsolls

I love the fact that the hem on the women’s version of the half zip is slightly tapered so that it isn’t too boxy, giving a more feminine fit for a laidback look.

Nikki – half zip; jeans; plimsolls with metallic fleck | Mal – half zip; straight jeans; navy plimsolls

I’m wearing a small in the top because it’s generous and a size 12 in the jeans – they’re generous too. Mal’s wearing a large and it’s true to size. For some reason the setting sun has made my top look as if it’s tie-dyed here, it isn’t, it’s just the way the shadows were playing with it. And of course you’ve seen these White Stuff plimsolls before, they’re the ones with the subtle flecks of gold in the canvas and on the heel.

Nikki – half zip; jeans; plimsolls with metallic fleck | Mal – half zip; straight jeans; navy plimsolls

And if you prefer a more tapered jean try these which have the same 80s fit but just in a narrower cut. I’m wearing a 12 and once again they’re quite generous.

Nikki – half zip; tapered jeans; plimsolls with metallic fleck

So thanks to the middle one especially for taking these photos and making us laugh – it was such a treat to have you both there to welcome us when we got home from our big trip. And a big thank you to White Stuff for giving me an unexpected reason to reflect and appreciate that youth isn’t always as glorious as we remember it. Starting out in life is a scary time and although I’ve enjoyed looking back at 1985, I wouldn’t want to go back and do it all again. Although I still worry more than I should I’m much happier where I am now which… of course… turned out to be back in the place that I was so keen to leave in 1985. Sometimes right back where you started is just where you belong!

It’s easy to focus on the drawbacks of midlife without recognising it for what it is – hopefully for most people a time of some stability. And confidence. Confidence is what I see in the 58 year old version of me when I set her alongside the 18 year old – and confidence comes from knowing your foundations are firm. If we’re lucky there will still be many, many years for us all to keep on growing and changing and trying all of the things that we didn’t manage to do when we were younger. Growing older can be a beautiful thing if we just harness our midlife confidence and find the courage to follow the paths that start opening up again.

Disclosure: ‘Rewind to 1985 – a 40 year style celebration’ was commissioned by White Stuff but as always, they were happy for me to write whatever I wanted to on the subject.

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