From this week’s weather it would appear that summer is completely over (9 degrees here!) and I haven’t kept my blog up to date with what we’ve been doing. As you know, these posts are really just for me to look back on in the future so if you come here for the fashion updates, skip over this one, clothes will be back next week. Despite the awful weather, summer 2024 has been one of the least travelled but most fun I’ve had for years. As you know, I wanted to stay at home just in case it turns out to be the last time I have the younger two here together for such a long stretch. And without a big holiday to plan I thought we’d have a quiet time but I found so many things to do that we’ve had more good times peppered through the last four months than we’ve had for ages. The weeks have been dedicated to work, writing when I can and training at the gym and the weekends have been pure joy. So here’s a run through August, Midlife lately – summer lived to the full.
Midlife lately – summer lived to the full
August 7th – 13th
August is birthday month in our house so it gives us a good excuse for celebrations. The middle one was away for his, arriving home just in time for his little brother’s so we launched straight into the youngest’s 21st. Since he was little he’s always asked for a watermelon instead of a cake and nothing changes.
That evening we went out for dinner and a few too many drinks, it was cold, wet and windy but it didn’t spoil anything.
The next day the middle one’s godparents came over for cake and he finally had a chance to open his presents. Even though we keep reminding him that he’s all grown up, all he wanted was Star Wars Lego – maybe being back in the nest isn’t doing him any favours!
Midlife lately – summer – August 16th – 18th
Adult reality came crashing down on him as he had to stay behind and work while the rest of us went down to London to see the eldest. We did an awful job of taking photos but we’ve only seen him twice since Christmas so we were very focused on our time together. I love watching my boys chatting away about things that I have no understanding of like this
It was pizza in Putney that evening then Mal and I went off to find our hotel leaving the boys to enjoy the bright lights together.
(wearing: Next top and trousers SS17)
We met up at lunchtime the next day – the eldest had planned a leisurely afternoon for us wandering down the Thames embankment, stopping off for food and drink here and there. Mal snapped this because he said I looked so happy to be back in my ‘mum world’. We were in the most wonderful old inn – The Dove in Hammersmith. It’s one of those places that would be just as good in winter as it is in summer, I think it’s my new favourite London pub.
(wearing: Me+Em jumpsuit SS20)
The only other picture we have – one that the eldest took to send to a friend who was trying to find us.
And the tough goodbyes the following morning at East Putney Station. When I was working at the BBC I commuted to a satellite office here for 18 months so it feels very strange that my boy now retraces my steps most days at a similar point in his life. He seems settled and happy but it’s still always hard to leave him behind.
(wearing Me+Em top and trousers SS22)
Back at home and a lovely evening with some of the readers who became friends at a Midlifechic event. I’m very proud to say they have a WhatsApp group called ‘Nikki’s Gorgeous Girls’. My gorgeous girls you are!
Summer lived to the full – bank holiday weekend
Moving on to the following weekend and the most exciting music event of our year in my calendar. We were going to see Jungle, a band I’ve absolutely loved ever since the eldest introduced me to them a few years ago. I’ve looked longingly at their tour dates, usually in exotic places like Brazil or Japan but then just after Christmas they announced that they were coming to Halifax. It’s the first time since the 90s that I’ve been so very desperate to get tickets for something and I succeeded.
You may not know the The Piece Hall in Halifax which is the only remaining Georgian Cloth Hall in the world. It dates back to 1779 and reopened after a multi-million pound investment project in 2017. It’s architecturally stunning as you can see, the buildings carry on along all four sides surrounding this fantastic square and every year there’s a summer concert series. It feels more like Italy than Yorkshire, it’s just such a wonderful space.
We arrived early to have a good look around the little independent shops that you can see in the arches, there are two floors of them. The crew were busy setting up for the concert so we had a sneak peek of what was to come.
(wearing Boden dress, belt & boots SS20)
Despite the fact that it was the August bank holiday weekend it was chilly so when we went to the hotel to get changed I had to opt for my plan C outfit…
Silver vest top; Jeans; M&S childrenswear jacket (AW16)
… and then the heavens opened so it was topped off with a plastic poncho.
It didn’t matter though because the concert was superb – we both felt it was the best we’ve ever been to. I never thought anything could beat Michael Jackson at Wembley in 1992 when he flew out over the crowd propelled by a jetpack on his back – but this did. I could write a whole post about why Jungle are so good but I’ll try to sum it up quickly. They’re bringing the spirit of disco into the modern age and they don’t have single whiff of celebrity about them. As you can see, they were just silhouettes because the musicians want the focus to be solely on the music and the dancing, not them. I find that so refreshing after the big egos that dominate the music world. They’re about artistry not stardom.
They do, however, work with an amazing team of dancers and so just watch this choreography. I really hope you fall in love with their sound as much as we have (Volcano is the album to listen to). Please just watch and listen to this for me… just once.
It was the absolute highlight of our summer and I’ll stop going on about it now other than to say that the acoustics at The Piece Hall are just incredible. The crowd was mixed age, warm and friendly. I urge you to go to a concert there next year when they release their summer series of events. Let’s get the bands away from the overpriced hype centres like Wembley and support the UK’s smaller towns and cities at the same time.
Ok, moving on with a wistful sigh because I’d just love to be back there again, even in the rain. This was the next day when we decided to go around Shibden Hall before making our way home. You’ll recognise it if you watched the BBC TV series Gentleman Jack because it was the home of Anne Lister, the 19th century entrepreneur, explorer and lesbian pioneer.
(wearing Boden dress SS23; Sezane sandals SS21; cashmere and silk cardigan now in the sale)
The series was filmed there and so if you’ve seen it, it all feels very familiar as you go around. It’s very well curated, by the time you leave you have a sense of having stepped into somebody’s past and a real understanding of just what an incredibly brave and clever woman she was.
I had no idea that the Calder Valley that surrounds Halifax is so beautiful – it really is worth spending a weekend there based around a concert at The Piece Hall.
Midlife lately – summer – August 30th – 31st
This was the Friday when I told you I was taking the afternoon off to go for a walk with the boys.
(wearing Hush dress SS20)
We had a lovely time wandering along the salt marshes, stopping off for farm made ice cream and cake here and there. It was like stepping back into the school summer holidays when they were little and I’m so grateful to have had another little taste of that time.
The rest of the weekend was taken up with Wayne Hemingway’s Vintage By The Sea Festival in Morecambe. You perhaps remember him as the Red Or Dead designer in the 90s – he was brought up in Morecambe and so he has great afffection for it. Vintage By The Sea is dedicated to all of the cultural achievements of the 20th century. People come from all over the country in retro outfits that span the decades.
There are parades of vintage vehicles and bikes…
… dance lessons…
… inside and out…
… and competitions for the best outfits.
The whole thing is utterly eccentric…
… and a lot of fun.
There’s a fairground and lots of performances along the prom…
…we hadn’t been for a few years and were quite surprised by just how much it’s grown. Maybe we’ll dress up next year if we haven’t had such a busy summer. This time though we were there for the Saturday night after-party more than the daytime events and there was nothing retro about it.
We went along to support a DJ from our gym who was doing the warm-up but we also wanted to see the multi-award winning DJ Paulette who is an absolute midlife icon. She’s been a resident DJ at Ministry of Sound, Pacha – and now the big tent in Morecambe! She gave us her all and she was fantastic. I love seeing midlife women continuing to lead, especially in fields like this that are more traditionally associated with the young – and usually men. And if you’re ever looking for cool midlife night out outfit inspiration – do a Google image search like this one.
Midlife lately – summer – last week
We’re nearly up to date now! Last week and a singalong outdoor cinema event – the film was Bohemian Rhapsody so we belted out all of the Queen hits. This was as we were waiting to go in…
… and as I looked out over the trees tinged with autumn’s orange it struck me that we were rounding the season off exactly where it always starts for us. It’s the same spot where I’m usually bursting with joy at the first festival of the year in early May when it feels as if an endless summer is stretching out ahead.
(wearing Me+Em jumpsuit SS22)
And without wanting to sound too gloomy, as I listened to the young ones chatting excitedly about the hopes and dreams of what feels like a whole new year for them as term starts again, I noticed a parallel. They are, quite literally in the early May of their lives – and I realised that we are, quite literally in the early September of ours.
It’s a sobering thought but it made me gladder than ever that we’ve spent the season as we have, while we have the energy to gad about. I caught up with two of my friends who are living with incurable cancer over the summer. One told me about the many ways that she finds to be happier in the everyday. She doesn’t look ahead too far because she knows that one of those days will hold the appointment that tells her the cancer is back. The other, who is less well, told me that she sometimes feels angry when she sees people around her taking their lives for granted, letting them ‘leak away’ as she put it, watching TV, scrolling through social media, assuming they have endless tomorrows.
And so, with that in mind, I booked one last outdoor event. But first, we had a whole new experience ahead. You may remember me telling you that Nicky’s son Toby and his wife Liv are expecting their first baby. It feels exciting because he’s like a fourth son to us and on Saturday they held a gender reveal party. After lots of games and guessing they pulled a rabbit out of a hat to show us that they’re having a little girl – a conundrum for Nicky and me who’ve only had boys and can’t imagine a girl in our close family group. But we will! The rabbit has a recording of the baby’s heartbeat when you hold it close which is so magical.
I’ll just add that I was surprised not to find myself feeling wistful this time. Instead I felt glad to be handing over the baton of responsibility to a new generation, enabling us to relinquish it – a bit. Midlife is a mixed bag of emotions isn’t it?
So back to our last summer event. It was one that I’ve been ignoring because it was BBC Radio 2 In The Park and so I’d felt it would be a bit of a pedestrian end to what’s been a high energy summer. As soon as they said that camping chairs and picnic blankets were encouraged I knew it was going to be a sit down and nod along affair. But then I saw that tickets were still available… and my beloved Sister Sledge were playing… and it was in Preston so not too far to go… and the weather’s always guaranteed to be hot as soon as the children go back to school isn’t it?
A lot of people we knew went on the Saturday which was, indeed, blazing hot. The forecast for Sunday was mixed so early that morning I messaged them to ask if it was worth wearing wellies. “Oh no,” they said, “the ground was rock hard so even if it rains a bit you’ll be fine in trainers. You’re just going to look stupid in wellies.”
But this was before we’d even gone in! Thank goodness I’d put this unbeatable Protected Species raincoat in my bag – it’s been my saviour this summer and you’re going to see a lot more of it. It packs up small because it’s light and yet it’s utterly, totally waterproof (in excess of 15,000 mm or 3 X British standards waterproofing).
Wearing: coat (gifted SS24); Me+Em flared jeans (SS22); Nike Dunks – RIP!!
It has stretch and yet all of the seams are fully sealed.
Wearing: coat (gifted SS24); Me+Em flared jeans (SS22); Nike Dunks – RIP!!
And when you want to style it more elegantly than I am here, the hood folds away to give it a beautiful, dramatic collar. All of the pieces are designed with both city and country in mind to make sure that they look stylish in either environment. It is, by far, the best raincoat I have ever come across. It’s rainwear refined, part of a small collection made by three midlife women who are determined to make the most protective and yet stylish rainwear that you can buy. I have so much respect for their attitude towards their business, their sustainability goals and the forensic attention they pay to detail. Rebecca, the owner, is just a thoroughly nice and decent outdoorsy person too, you can read her story here and she explains her inspiration as follows:
“I’m an active person with a love of the countryside but a lot of my time is spent commuting or travelling across cities, or sometimes countries for work and pleasure and I needed rainwear that I felt good wearing in all these settings. I wanted a choice of shapes, colours and comfort in rainwear in the same way I would choose the rest of my wardrobe… so the journey began”
So if you’re looking for rainwear, please do think of supporting this small midlife brand run by women like us.
Back to Radio 2 In The Park, we got as far as the DJ tent which was covered and there we stayed. So we missed Sister Sledge and The Pet Shop Boys and Manic Street Preachers because the rain was relentless and the mud on the field by this point was more than ankle deep. The only consolation was that the people who’d been there all weekend told us that it had the best atmosphere of all three days purely because of the blitz spirit and the fact that people were determined to let their hair down regardless.
It forced me to face the fact that summer is over – it’s time to wear more layers and move indoors – but at least I feel I lived it to the full. Some people on Instagram asked if I didn’t get all of this out of my system in my 20s and the thing is that as most of you here know, I didn’t. Then I was living in an abusive marriage so rather than singing and dancing at the weekends, I was sitting at home dreading what would happen when my husband came back. It was a deadly serious decade for me.
I escaped it and I’m always thankful for the context that the deep unhappiness has given to every single day that’s followed. I’ve loved the years of being a responsible mum but my boys are now fledging and I can’t keep clinging on to them. I have energy and joy inside me and as long as it’s there, I’m going to keep on making the most of it. I’m doing it for my 25 year-old self and I’m doing it for my friends who can’t and urge me to make the most of the great fortune of my good health. I’m taking their two wisdoms of living for today and not letting time leak away. And so should we all.
As we were talking about the music we used to love and which bands we’d like to see, my friend reminded me of one poignant song – she felt that this was her last summer and she said it kept going round and round in her head.
We had joy, we had fun
We had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song
Like the seasons have all gone
We only have so many seasons each and fewer ahead of us than behind us so this year I’m going to embrace the autumn and winter to come. Once more I urge you to find whatever it is that gives you joy – and throw yourself at it. Switch off the TV. Put your phone down. Live your own real life rather than letting it leak away on the many vicarious fictions that surround you.
And on that note, you’ll be relieved to know that next week I’ll be back with nothing deeper than a clothes try-on. Over and out for summer 2024!
Disclosure: ‘summer lived to the full’ is not a sponsored post
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