We’ve made it to the end of January and I’ll just say to those of you who are grumbling about me not doing enough midlife style posts, “give yourselves (and me) (and the planet) a break.” I fully believe that in January we should follow nature’s example and be fallow for a while, it’s a time for rest and regeneration. The shops are full of stuff that nobody wants, discounted more every day and the sale advice endures – if you didn’t linger over something when it was full price why would you look at it now, just because it’s 50% less? It’s only 50% less than you didn’t want to pay in the first place. The exception to that rule is if it enables you to shop somewhere that’s otherwise out of your price range.
However it’s February tomorrow and the first Spring drops are landing so I was already planning to pick midlife style up again. The retailers know it’s payday weekend for many and so they’re hoping to lure us out of our post-Christmas feeling of saturation. What I will say to you is that once again, it isn’t going to be an especially exciting season for fashion. There’s no big move on. You’re not going to be able to buy a ‘new you’ from the shops. You have to do the hard work yourself. And I’m saying this in response to somebody who told me that they don’t come to Midlifechic to read about pans – they expect to be told how to be stylish. The thing is that in this new world where a single look for the season no longer dominates, to stand apart you have to be an individual. With that in mind let’s look at the basics of midlife style and the tasks for this time of year.
January/February is the time to look at the clothes you already have for the season we’re moving into and have a big wardrobe sort out. This is going to sound a bit woo woo but you need to start by picking up each piece of clothing and having a quick chat with it. If your first words aren’t along the lines of “great to see you, I can’t wait to wear you again,” then something’s wrong with that item and it needs to go into an edit pile. I’ve had a great time doing this in January, the best revelations came from, “great to see you and I’d like to wear you again BUT…” Those were the items that needed some attention – alterations or debobbling or just a button securing. I’ve taken so many ‘almost but not quite perfect’ things to be altered that it’s been quite expensive but nowhere near as much as buying new and now I have a rail full of Goldilocks midlife style pieces.
So, if you haven’t done that you need to begin – try on everything that you’re likely to wear between now and May. It’s better doing it now when it’s cold outside and so there’s no likelihood of you putting any of it on for a while. It makes it easier to put things into a bag and deal with them when you’re not thinking “oh but I might want to wear that next week, it’ll have to do.”
The basics of midlife style – do your clothes represent the woman you’ve become?
Once you’ve allocated a prime position for your great love pieces in your wardrobe and fastened a bag ready for altering and fixing, you need to deal with the ones you weren’t so pleased to see again and work out what’s wrong with your relationship. At this point step back and ask yourself who you are right now in terms of style. Because the stone in the shoe of the Capsule Wardrobe concept is that it works on the basis that you never grow. And I’m not really talking about physically (although that is a point – never keep a wardrobe for when you’re thinner unless you’re actively on a weight loss programme, otherwise you’re talking about the never never). By growth I mean that as we blossom into full maturity we’re changing. We often become bolder, more self-confident, more expressive… and so the meek and mild curated capsule collection that we invested in during our oestrogen-heavy days when we were putting everyone else first might no longer reflect the expansive woman that we’ve become.
So I’ll say again – stop and decide who you are now. Have you finally grown into the woman you were always meant to be? And how do you express that to the outside world? Because that’s what clothes are… they’re the jungle beat that announces who you are as you walk down the street. Are you really going to downplay yourself by dressing in clothes that belong to an old, less evolved you?
I did that all of the time in my 40s because I felt apologetic – I didn’t know who I was and so I tried not to take up too much visual space. The whole reason for Midlifechic, as you know, was just me tracking my journey out of that state. Someone I know who works as a stylist and has read my blog for a long time got in touch with me a little while ago to ask if she could use some of my photos for a work presentation. She wanted to argue against the rigidity of style definition that exists in her industry, saying that women shouldn’t be pinned down to a lifelong style personality tribe. She wanted to use my photos to illustrate how with a menopause journey and the growing confidence that can come from it, a woman can move from being a Classic to a Dramatic Classic to a Flamboyant Natural (albeit at the more classic end of the scale).
Note – to ascertain your midlife style personality you really need to understand the Kibbe system. It goes far beyond stuff you like. Style is actually rooted in the architecture of your body and the way that your flesh is deposited on your bones. This is a really good starting point if you’re interested in knowing more but you have to be willing to put time in to understand it fully. It’s taken me years but trust me, when you get to grips with your archetype you will know exactly what does and doesn’t work for you. There’s a Kibbe body test here.
So back to showing style personality and its evolution in action – let’s look at the definitions of my three style types:
- The Classic style personality is defined by timeless elegance and balance. Individuals with this style prefer a polished, neat, and well-put-together look that rarely acknowledges fashion, prioritising quality and longevity over trends.
- The Dramatic Classic incorporates more structured “Yang” elements into original classic style such as sharper shoulder lines and a bolder mix of colours. Their outfits are more architectural compared to the soft, balanced classic and they often lean towards pieces with striking shape or texture.
- A Flamboyant Natural style personality is defined as Free Spirit Chic, blending relaxed, earthy ease with touches of flourish to outfits. Characterised by broad, athletic and elongated frames they possess an effortless type of confidence that carries off larger scale and more dramatic fashion. They need styles that emphasise vertical lines and comfort is a priority.
Classic Era
Dramatic Classic Era
Flamboyant Natural Era
When my stylist friend showed me the pictures she’d chosen I agreed that she had a point but added that post-lockdown, my life is significantly more casual. I suggested that I’m probably still more classic when it comes to dressing up. She argued that the new style classification still remained – that she could prove it just by looking at my more recent smarter dressing moments.
Her point was that although they start from a classic base there’s always architecture, a vertical line pointing downwards and a touch of looser flourish now. These are the ‘rooted in classic /smarter flamboyant natural’ outfits that she came back with. It’s a fine line between style tribes but when you look at the outlines, I know how to balance my shape out now and it’s all based on the structure of my frame – or more specifically, bones, and the way that my flesh/muscle settles on them.
The basics of midlife style – confidence comes from just being yourself
The thing is that I hadn’t noticed my style evolving, it wasn’t a conscious move on. I just know that over the past five years I’ve felt like myself at all times. That goes beyond what I wear, it’s more of a fundamental confidence in who I am.
I was having a conversation with someone recently and she was talking about choosing the side of yourself that shows up – working out in advance which version of yourself you’re going to present to a specific group of people. And I instantly had one of those penny-dropping moments because I realised that I haven’t done that for a long time now. I’m no longer living in a Mr Benn world where I put on different personalities, I’m always myself. The only time that changes is when I’m talking to someone whose values don’t chime with mine and then I put on a suit of armour to try to hide my conflict.
So, this is what I’m talking about when I say that you need to work out who you are this year – because you might have grown in spirit and personality but your old wardrobe might be holding you back from expressing that. Here’s an exercise to help you find out. Think about three outfits that you have in your wardrobe that make you feel great – perhaps a smarter one and two for every day. Lay them out next to each other and include every single accessory that you’d add. Look at the shape, the texture, the colours… they will tell you who you are right now. From there you’ll know if the rest of your wardrobe is right or if it needs work to fit the 2026 you.
The basics of midlife style – what’s worth buying now?
In the meantime, here’s my response to the demand for what’s worth buying in the shops right now. I’m starting with a sale but it’s the very best sale and it’s at final reductions stage. If you go over to have a look don’t use the ‘shop by size’ feature that they advertise so heavily. It doesn’t work properly and I think that’s the reason that there are still so many great pieces available – they’re being mistakenly sifted out when people shop by size. Most of these items are reduced by 50-60% now which brings them down to regular Boden/upper end of M&S prices but everything is high quality and the cuts are ultra-flattering.
Top to bottom, L-R
- Removable polo-neck jumper – such a clever idea for women who feel the heat. Enjoy the sumptuous look of a polo-neck but when it starts getting uncomfortable just unbutton it and pop it in your bag. This is made from a beautiful, slightly two-tone blue merino and cashmere blend which is much more flattering to the face than a solid dark navy. 50% 0ff
- Grey fleck mock neck jumper – the most flattering neckline you can buy because it gives you a lengthening, swan neck effect. The soft grey melange adds texture and interest so it isn't flat as a grey jumper so often is. It's beautifully soft with 48% Alpaca. 50% off
- Leg elongator trousers – just look at the shape on these and you'll understand the name. They're made from a deep blue velvet denim so they have texture giving them even more impact than a solid indigo dye. They're smart enough to take the place of a trouser – and so much cooler. 30% off
- Brushed cashmere orange tee – knitted tees were the sleeper trend that replaced the ordinary t-shirt last year and this season they're coming through even stronger. They're perfect for our cooler spring and summer days and this is made from luxurious brushed cashmere that adds depth and texture, it does all the work to elevate a simple outfit. Also available in deep indigo or camel. 50% off
- Purple cardi-tee – the sister to the knitted tee and great for anyone who prefers an adjustable neckline. This is brushed cashmere again with beautiful buttons and it's also available in black. It isn't featuring properly on the site ranking which is why I think so many people have missed it. 60% off
- Strawberry cardigan – I have cardigans in this cut in both orange and pink which is why I can't justify buying this one because it's only a slight difference in tone. However they look absolutely perfect in summer with a simple tee and jeans and they also work really well with dresses because the slightly boxy cut makes them look cooler. I size down to a small and find it's exactly right. Brushed cashmere again in the most beautiful hue – 50% off.
- Cropped leather jacket – butter soft leather… not many sizes left now but a forever piece. Just look at the rear view in the pictures, it's so beautifully contoured – I keep hovering over it but can't justify it as I already have one in suede. 50% off
- Classic cashmere cardigan – if you prefer a more classic shape this is in the sale in green or burnt orange. It's slightly longer than a lot of their pieces so you're getting a simple piece at an M&S price but in AAA quality cashmere. 50% off
And I just wanted to add this in because again it isn't appearing in all site searches so it's easy to miss – a blazer but in soft, felted, tan nubuck. Imagine it worn with a simple black or navy jumper and jeans outfit – or jeans and a white blouse. Another piece that does all of the heavy lifting and screams quality.
Other midlife style basics to buy now
For those of you who are itching to shop, now's a really good time to focus on midlife style basics. Just hold off for a while on the rest because the best is yet to come. I've been replacing the jersey tops that I'll wear with brightly coloured cardigans when we approach spring… not long now. These are superb quality from an eco-brand led by a team of midlife women.
The great thing about this top is that they make it in both a bright and a warm white, catering for cool and warm skintones. There are a total of eight colours available including navy and black. The reason it's so good is the quality – the ribbed texture means that it skims your curves and gives you shape without hugging any bumpy bits and the collar has enough heft to sit properly and frame your face. Plus the zip goes low enough to be sexy if you're in that kind of mood.
Ribbed organic cotton top with zip neck
Taking it a step on, the detailed zip on this is so chic. It would look very stylish layered with black, navy, red or brown. Look at the great fit on the shoulders – Me+Em style at half the price.
And another great figure-skimming basic here with utility pockets for added interest, also available in a very vibrant spring chartreuse.
Continuing with the trend for knitted tees and cardigans, the self covered buttons on this make it look much, much more expensive than it is. Cotton rich and available in this chilli colour or cream.
And a beautiful brushed bomber style cardigan here in a wool and cashmere blend so you're getting the brushed cashmere effect at a slightly lower price than usual (although it does underline what a great buy the sale ones above are). Also available in grey.
When it comes to navy cardigans though this is the one I've bought. I was hoping to wait until closer to spring but it sold out within days so when they restocked this week I jumped at it and it's a great, lifelong piece with the perfect fit in a medium. Also available in tan.
Lots of people I know love these jersey trousers because they're as soft to wear as joggers but with more shape. There are six colours available and they have a slim barrel cut.
And socks, true basics of midlife style – let this be the year that you throw away your invisible trainer socks if you're still wearing them and invest in a collection of fun socks. These are the best, there are 48 colours to choose from, they're great value – and you don't have that annoying feeling of a sock scrunched up under your foot all the time.
Recap – the basics of midlife style, it’s easier and harder than you think
So to the people who emailed last week just wanting a way to buy into a look that will suit them I’ll say that it doesn’t work off the shelf like that. I haven’t watched Traitors but I have a friend who’s obsessed with it. She just wants to be Claudia Winkleman – to the extent that she went out and bought an exact dupe of one of her outfits and then was heartbroken that she still didn’t look the same. She was only half joking when she asked me if I thought she should dye her hair black! But even an exact Claudia doppelganger in an identical outfit wouldn’t completely pull of Claudia’s look because she doesn’t have her essence… her spirit… her flavour.
Style goes way beyond clothes which brings me back to being who you are – and that’s the reason for posts like the pans one. I write this ‘thinking woman’s style blog’ to try to help you work out who you are, how you’ve changed and what you stand for in this new phase of life before you even think about getting dressed. You can’t buy style off the hanger. Style is the spirit you project – you can wear an old sack and look stylish if you radiate chutzpah.
The great thing about being an older woman is that we have spirit/essence/chutzpah by the bucket load, we just have to let it shine through. Why do you think that on any red carpet filled with a sea of beautiful young things the paparazzi home in on the Helen Mirrens and Halle Berrys of this world? It’s because an older woman with a twinkle in her eye is the one that everyone wants to look at. Spirit/essence/twinkle is the reason that everyone around the world knows the Mona Lisa – she isn’t classically beautiful and yet we all wonder what’s behind that look in her eye. So let this be the year that you show yourself – and let your clothes be the external manifestation of the flavoursome woman you are.
On that note I’m now heading to spend the weekend with some very compelling women at the first Midlifechic Retreat… I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it… but more about that soon.
