Following from last week's recap of the downs this is a nicer post to write because as promised, it's all about the gentle midlife highs of 2025. When I look back there weren't as many big moments as there have been in other years but that's not a bad thing. I'm at the stage where I'm very happy to travel through life on what's perhaps more of a gentle log flume than a roller coaster. And as I read back over what I've written I realise it's turned out to be one of those long posts – but there are so many things I didn't have time to capture at the end of last year. So – cup of tea/glass of wine – you'll need one or the other!
Gentle midlife highs of 2025 – Travel
It's great when your year holds a bit of learning isn't it? We had a couple of short breaks in Turkey as you know but they were just about rest. Travel was the thing that brought me learning – both in terms of starting to understand the industry and learning about myself.
Learning a lot more about the Industry
Travel is something that I'm finding really interesting. Midlifechic is being picked up by travel companies who are keen for us to run reader trips with them and so we were invited to meet a few of them at the World Travel Market in London in November. It's one of the biggest travel trade exhibitions in the world and I was last there in 1992 when I was working on a travel magazine at the BBC. Every country in the world exhibits, putting on their finest display in order to entice people working in the travel industry to add them to their portfolio.
We spent two long days engrossed in different meetings and it was fascinating. Will I start running more reader trips with trusted partners? Possibly in 2027 – if I can develop something that isn't being done elsewhere and it was good to understand which destinations were open to working with me on that. You see the whole event was such an eye opener. What became clear was what a beaten track every country in the world has – tourists are funnelled in the easiest and most profitable direction. When you're trained in marketing you're always taught that the most successful tool you can use is to make your audience feel afraid of something and the travel industry uses people's fear of the unknown so powerfully. If you suggest stepping off a country's established route there's a sharp intake of breath and a list of reasons why they wouldn't advise it…. but if you question them harder, you discover it's often because it would cost them time and money to create something new.
I found it fascinating to see how from a trade perspective the world is being promoted as a bucket list – as a list of places to tick off, especially for older travellers. There's such a strong use of social media, taking influencers to the honey traps so that their audiences believe they're the places they must see too. There was a focus on dropping people in and out of destinations briefly, cruise style, so that they could say they'd been there. It was a problem for me from a Midlifechic perspective because I don't think it's what people who read Midlifechic would want to do. I think everyone here would be keen to get under the skin of a place and experience it from a more local perspective.
So we came away with some some prospective partners, buzzing with ideas that I'd like to spend some time developing. We both felt as if we'd looked behind the curtain in the Emerald City though and seen that as with any other industry, a lot of travel companies don't care about helping you to discover the world, they just want to make money as easily as possible by siloing you along the well trodden routes along with everyone else and their dog. As far as our personal plans are concerned it's made us more determined than ever to travel independently for as long as we can.
The first big high of 2025
For me our trip to Colombia was the biggest high of the 2025. It really felt like an adventure. We went to a place that's perceived to be dangerous and found that it wasn't scary at all, not remotely. We've had much hairier times in Malaga and Marseille than any of the experiences we had out there.
We got so much more out of Colombia by travelling around on our own and interacting with the locals and I fell head over heels with Latin America. As a result of colonial rule it has an aspect of Spain but it's so much spicier with the layers of both historical and re-emerging indigenous culture coming to the fore, each so different to anything I'd encountered before. Of all the long haul destinations that I've been to so far, Latin America is the one that's really captured my heart and imagination. The language, the art, the history, the food, the spirit… it was a life-changing trip and I really hope that before we get too old we'll be able to spend a very long time exploring the whole region.
The unexpected discovery I made…
This last little bit of learning isn't specific to Colombia, it's just something I discovered on that trip. And that's the reward of learning to do something completely new with somebody that you've loved for a long time. Mal and I are a bit of a pigeon pair, we do a lot together in both our work and our free time… but starting something from a base where we were both absolute beginners that had absolutely no stakes attached was such an absorbing and entertaining joy. We went through so many emotions in the space of a week – frustration, support, anger, triumph, futility, confusion, encouragement… and best of all, howls of laughter. Honestly if you're trying to reset your relationship ready for a closer future together just learn something new – it knocks off all your edges and you have such a good time. This little out-take moment gives you an idea…
Watching my boys spreading their wings
So the next high of 2025 has to be the vicarious one of seeing my boys out in the world, living their lives. The tragic events of the summer put that into a sharper perspective than ever. The eldest had a really big year. He achieved the promotion he'd been working towards with steely determination and that, as you know, gave him all kinds of career highs, the biggest one being working with sporting hero Lionel Messi. He and his team went on to win industry awards for some of their campaigns…
… and then in November while we were in London hoping to have dinner with him after the World Travel Market he was offered what in my eyes was an even bigger glory – the chance to be a flag bearer at Newcastle's first Champions League match.
So instead of sitting in a nice restaurant with him, we rushed around the East End of London trying to find a pub willing to put the Newcastle match on for us and we ended up surrounded by builders in the Isle of Dogs watching our boy on screen. They were slightly bemused to find people from the far north in their midst but they embraced us and fully understood a mum's emotion when her boy's big moment opened the match!
Nothing beats seeing your children making memories that will last a lifetime.
Just imagine the catharsis of being on the pitch with this stirring music all around and then hearing the crowd erupt like this! It was just our luck that we had to be in London when he was in Newcastle doing that.
He also has a new, great love in his life. We've only met her once, very briefly in London in November before we had to rush off to a party but I sense that they're a brilliant match. She was away in Australia for Christmas and New Year so there was no chance for us to catch up then but she's back now and he's so very, very happy that I'm really looking forward to getting to know her. Watch this space.
The middle one is having a great time in Logroño in Spain's Rioja region so I don't have any photos but we're looking forward to going out and having a taste of his life there in April. Not surprisingly he's come back a confirmed wine lover and he and his new multi-national group of friends certainly seem to be putting a lot of effort into developing their palette! He's based in a big city centre school for children from age 4 to 18 and he holds conversation classes with all age groups but enjoys his time with the little ones the most. I'm pleased that he's having an adventure of his own before he (hopefully soon) works out what his next steps might be.
I touched on the youngest last week. His was a year of highs and lows – he did so well in his degree and as you know, his graduation was another huge highlight in our year.
Sadly then events took a turn for the worse but he soldiered on and although I've absolutely loathed seeing his pain, I've really admired his fortitude. Over the summer one of the plans he'd made along with his girlfriend and her brother's schoolfriends was a half marathon to raise money for a local charity in memory. By the end of October when the race took place they'd raised over £11,000. I wondered if our boy would still be up to it after their recent split but he was determined not to let people down and so to my concern he pitched up without doing any training – but somehow he managed to complete the 21K in just under an hour and a half. There's a running gene that goes through my side of the family… but it certainly skipped me!
With things as they were I was determined that he'd have a few loud voices shouting just for him and so here he is at the halfway mark…
… and as he powered to the finish line. I know that if my dad had been there he'd have been proudly quoting his RAF motto – Per Ardua Ad Astra… through hardship to the stars.
This week he's started a new training placement at a challenging school near Blackpool so he has a long drive every day, it's going to be interesting to see how it plays out. Even though they're both state schools it's a huge contrast to the one he was in last term. This one doesn't have enough budget for heating so he's having to layer up every day – it's hard to believe that we're living in 2026 sometimes isn't it?
When you give birth to your children you imagine the years you'll have with them to eighteen and then, you assume, life will just pan out. You have no idea just how intense these early years of adulthood will be or that you'll live it all with them. You hurt with them when you see them sinking and fly as you watch them soar. When they leave home you get your life back in many ways but not all – a part of you will always be held hostage to your children's fortune.
The last big high of 2025
Music continued to be a huge highlight for us in 2025, I find it's the one and only thing that stops my brain whirring – ideally a live band outside in the sunshine. Of all the events we went to last year, one was very special and there's a story behind it so here we go (and sorry this post is turning out to be so long, you might need another cup of tea). In the summer I spotted that Odyssey were scheduled to play at the Blues Kitchen in Manchester and when we looked at the map, we noticed it was near the Castlefield district which was apt. You see back in September 1998 when we were launching the new Selfridges at The Trafford Centre, our marketing team was based at The Castlefield Hotel for a week (and those of us who were senior managers spent a lot of time grumbling that week about how the directors were all staying in a new hotel concept called Malmaison in the city centre while we were annexed on the edge of the city by a damp canal).
Anyway, my room had quite a distinctive shape and I remember it well. It's where I held intense phone conversations with my husband during that week. Since January I'd been telling him how unhappy I was, that things needed to change but he refused to listen. I'd hoped a week apart might make a difference but still he wouldn't talk things through. As I lay in the bath one night in The Castlefield Hotel I realised once and for all that the change would have to be instigated by me alone.
You've heard the story of how Mal and I first got to know each other over that week of getting the store ready for launch a few times before. I've told you how on the last evening we ended up in a disco bar and as others peeled off, we stayed and didn't leave the dance floor until the place closed. And the first song we danced to together was Native New Yorker by Odyssey. It's the one song that's guaranteed to get us on our feet wherever we hear it to this day.
So, I had the concert at the back of my mind and then in August I had to go through my treasure box which is where I keep everything that's ever mattered to me. The youngest needed his birth certificate for his PGCE application and just before I found it, I unearthed the keycard holder from my room at The Castlefield Hotel all those years ago. I couldn't believe I'd kept it all this time and, of course, it had my room number on it.
You see on the very last night of our stay there, after we'd danced until the club closed, Mal and I stayed up in the hotel bar talking until we saw the poor bartender starting to yawn. It was the conversation that he began with "what's it like to be you Nikki?"… the aptly worded question that unlocked all of the sadness in me… and we were deep in the heart of it when we knew the bar had to close. So I invited him to come up to my room to continue it (making it clear that a conversation was all that was on the cards!) and we sat head to toe on the bed, talking and talking but at some point we fell asleep. You can imagine my horror when I woke up the next morning and saw that he was still there, knowing that our colleagues were going up and down the corridors for breakfast.
I shook him awake, checked outside and shooed him out because not only was I senior to him but I was also married. When my friend came to knock for me I must have had guilt written all over my face because he instantly asked, "what did you get up to after we left last night?" I remember sweeping past Mal in reception with my team, ignoring him very unfairly but you know how rumours can take off? I felt as though I'd put my whole life on the line.
Back to 2025 and the random ad on Facebook that told us that Odyssey were coming to Manchester… to play in a bar a five minute walk from The Castlefield Hotel… and we knew we had to buy tickets. At the time I was flat out, travelling for work a lot so I told Mal I was leaving it in his hands. I saw the whites of his eyes – you see I'm the prime organiser in our relationship, I love planning stays away and exciting events and I'm very particular about them so he leaves all that to me. For once though it was up to him and when the date came around on 13th November I didn't know what to expect.
He was excited when we woke up, keen to head off early so we threw our things into the car and off we went.
When we got to the hotel he told me to wait in the bar which I did, marvelling at the memories that came rushing back of such an intense week spent there a long time ago.
Soon he came through with a smile on his face and a couple of staff behind him who were smiling even more, ready to show us to our room. And you've guessed it – he'd told the manager our story and even though she'd been worried that over the years the numbering system might have changed, it was the same one. There were rose petals on the bed and they were all just as excited as we were. You see it isn't a remotely flashy hotel, it's very simple, owned by the YMCA with all profits being reinvested into the charity so they don't often have stays of high romance. As I walked around the room even more memories came rushing back because not much had changed, the layout and fittings, the desk that I'd worked at, the wardrobe where I'd hung my clothes, the bath where I'd made my big decision – it was all the same.
If you're looking for a simple, well priced, well located hotel in Manchester by the way (right next to the Museum of Science & Industry and close to the groovy bars and restaurants in Spinningfields) I have to recommend it. It's on a par with a Premier Inn BUT all the profits go to a good cause.
The concert had an early start time of 6pm so we headed out for lunch. Mal had booked Lina Stores and we had the best Italian food that we'd tasted since we were in a little restaurant outside Lucca in 2006. It was quiet so the young manager sat down and chatted to us for a while and we told her why we were there. The next thing we knew she was bringing us a dessert with a glass of Prosecco because, she said, we'd given her hope. I find that that's what so many young people need in our fragmented world today – hope that love will find them… and that it can endure.
On our way back to the hotel to get changed we passed the venue and so we popped in to see if there was a cloakroom for the concert. It was happy hour so we stayed for a cocktail and I decided to write a note, just on the off chance that it might make its way to the band. The bartender gave me a tiny notepad and I scribbled a quick thank you to Odyssey for their part in our years, hoping that they'd play our song that night.
We went back to change ready for an evening of dancing and music…
There was a brilliant Studio 54 DJ to start the evening off and then, as the band came on, they played the first few bars of Native New Yorker – we couldn't believe our luck. Mal held his phone up to video them but then they stopped… to introduce themselves and tell the crowd about something that had happened that day that had reminded them why they keep on performing live after all these years. And they told our story and dedicated Native New Yorker to us. I wish I could include the video… but in his shock Mal forgot to press record… and so the moment will just have to live in our memory!
And of course nobody knew who we were but all through the evening people kept coming over and asking if it was us – one of them said it was because he could tell that we were a couple who'd been dancing together forever. If you'd asked me 27 years ago how I would define a romantic break with a husband I'd been married to for a long time I'd perhaps have said, "a few nights in the George V in Paris." But I'd take our night away in Manchester over that any time. And isn't that the great thing about growing older? You know that your life is a tapestry and sometimes the magic lies in going back over the stitches and finding the point where the pattern started to flourish.
Odyssey are superb live by the way – go and see them while you still can.
Other brilliant live music events last year were:
- Brixton Disco Festival – a great mixed age crowd over a number of venues last May with the highlight being Dimitri From Paris
- Boogietown at Apps Court Farm – older acts and an older crowd but just brilliant – the highlight was Sister Sledge (featuring Kathy Sledge rather than the Slegendary arm who don't give as good a performance)
- Martin Kemp at Wylam Brewery – the best of the 80s DJ nights in our view, not as cheesy as the others
- Nile Rodgers & Chic at The Piece Hall in Halifax – our old favourite playing in our new favourite UK venue
- Trevor Nelson – both at Boogietown and closer to home, always a fun, mixed age crowd
- Dimitri From Paris in Newcastle – superb, as ever
And that's it for my ups, I've gone on for long enough. There were lots of other gentle midlife highs of 2025, mostly thanks to my appreciation of the glimmers. You may remember that a couple of years ago I made a plan to savour the small things that bring me joy and it's now a good habit. I think you become an intrinsically happy person when you see a little something special in every day. So let's see what 2026 has in store for us all… and I hope it's a log flume… and that the inevitable splashes come on hot sunny days so that nothing feels too bad for any of us.
