In response to my surprise post on Tuesday a couple of messages came in lamenting the fact that I wasn’t planning on doing as many gift posts this year – particularly the gift ideas for men. And we all know why – men are hard to buy for. As a mum of boys I’m very aware that from the moment they’re born most of them want to ‘do’ rather than ‘have’. Over the years I’ve come up with so many different ideas but the shops this year are short on new things. They’re de-risking, avoiding any opportunistic buys that might end up in the sale bins in January and ‘new’ is thin on the ground. So today I’m going to give you some ideas for good things that the men in your life will appreciate – simple gifts for men 2025 – there’s very little whimsy, just solid recommendation.

And because this isn’t what I was planning to do this year it’s a post of two halves. So just imagine that you’re coming out on a shopping trip with me and then when we get home we sit by the fire with a cup of mulled wine and share a story. Let’s put some of the magic back into Christmas between now and the big day.

So we’re back at my place, we’ve kicked off our shoes and we’re chatting away in front of the fire. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.

You see it's been feeling very Christmassy in our house this week, the -5C temperatures have forced us into the front of the house where we can light these roaring fires. While I've been sitting on the sofa in the evenings researching this post, we've been talking about what really makes a good Christmas, thinking back to our favourite childhood memories and even though we've heard them lots of times before I can never resist a good story… so this is one of Mal's.

Growing up in the North East in the 70s and 80s was tough, far tougher than at my side of the country. Mal comes from a family of miners and I think all of us who were in the UK at that time will remember just how hard life was for them in the Thatcher years.

Mal was the youngest of six – five boys and one girl and he and his brothers shared a bedroom, all stacked up in bunks like sailors on a ship. This is the only photo we have of him as a little boy (and everybody always says our middle one looks just like me but my goodness he was so like Mal when he was little).

Anyway back to our story. Christmas for Mal was a stocking at the end of the bed and all it contained was a tangerine, a few sweets and some nuts… plus lumps of coal of course for anyone who'd been naughty. But his memories are still happy ones and they all revolve around people because as part of a huge Geordie family the house was always full, particularly because his mum worked for the Scottish and Newcastle Brewery and their Christmas bonus was as much Newcastle Brown Ale as they could take home – and she was never short of helpers!

He has two distinct memories of Christmas as a little boy and this is one, I'll save the other for another post. At the end of one particularly tough year for Newcastle when the miners were losing their jobs and the shipyards were closing, the brewery declared that it was going to throw a big Christmas party for the children of everyone who worked there. But when the names started coming in and they saw the size of Geordie families they quickly announced that each member of staff could bring just one child along.

What a conundrum it must have been for Mal's mum… a bit like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory… but in the end, he, as the youngest, was the chosen one. And every time we walk past the building which is now part of Newcastle University he tells me about just how magnificent it felt just for once to be the special one… and to have a day out… with his mum. On his own!

He tells me how it felt to go into the magnificent building, clutching her hand…

… with its tiled interiors which were like nothing he'd ever seen before…

… to find tables piled high with food: sandwiches, cakes, trifles and jellies, biscuits and sweets… as much as you could eat and more. And there was fizzy pop… and party games… and everyone joined in even though they'd never met each other before… and he played and danced and wished the day would never end.

And that's Christmas isn't it?

It doesn't have to be a whole month of plenty. Sometimes Christmas feels all the more special for just being one treasured day – and that day doesn't have to be Christmas Day itself.

It isn't the presents which so often now are the whole focus. It's the precious time spent with precious people who for once have stopped being absorbed by their ever-busy lives. It's about letting your hair down together, playing games, sharing memories, remembering the bonds formed so long ago. Those abiding bonds make it feel so important to see those very people, maybe not on Christmas Day but at some point over the Christmas period.

Sadly not all of them will still be with us and one of the wistful sides of Christmas can be facing up to that. But others still are and so we should try to look forward and treasure our time with them. I always think that these particular bonds tell you exactly who has a place in your inner circle. They're the people you want to catch up with in December because if you don't manage to see them then it isn't really Christmas.

So I'll leave you with that thought while you're busy doing your shopping. Christmas can be anything you want it to be but it can't be everything – so choose carefully and give your time to the right people. If you possibly can, say no to the things you don't want to do and yes to whatever brings you pleasure.

And on that very note of pleasure I must rush to get ready because I'm going out with my favourite Christmas party person tonight (you know who that is!). We're very excited, we've had tickets for this event for over a year and it's finally here. And as it happens it isn't so far away from the scene of Mal's first big Christmas party so let's hope it matches up. I'll tell you more when we have our midlife lately catch-up but until then… happy and careful festive planning everyone.

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