Midlife Lately – July 2025

We’ve reached the point in the summer where there are no new clothes for us to talk about so it’s just going to be me chatting to you about what I’ve been doing, wearing and thinking over the next few weeks – let’s hope I can make it interesting! So it’s a midlife lately catch-up today and we’re going back to the beginning of July when we went away for a little break. In the space of ten days we had a party, a trip to the sunshine, a festival as well as meet-ups with old friends and our eldest boy. It was busy but I came back feeling restored by spending time away with great people. This is what we did and what I wore although I realise that not many of the outfits are current season so I can’t link them I’m afraid. I haven’t bought very much lately simply because there hasn’t been anything in the shops that I’ve liked better than the outfits I already have. Is that an age thing or just a sign that retail has stopped innovating? The latter I think. Anyway as I started to type it was one of those posts where I had no idea what would come out and on rereading it, it’s a long one so you’ll need a glass of wine or a cup of tea. If you’re sitting comfortably… then I’ll begin… Midlife Lately – July 2025.

We left home just before lunch on a Friday. You see our time away was being bookended by two weekend events that by pure coincidence were located very close to each other, one near Windsor on Saturday 5th and another near Hampton Court on Saturday 12th. As they were both outside London it would have been hard work to travel by multiple trains and tubes and we didn’t want to make the same long journey twice in the space of a week so we decided to stay down there. And I’m so glad we did because it took us seven hours to battle all of the roadworks on the motorways. Here we’d just got out of the car and I was blinking in the shock of the southern sunshine. Once we hit Birmingham we really noticed the difference in the summer that the two halves of the country have had. It was hard to believe how scorched the earth was in the south; there’s been so little warmth in July in the north that everything is lush and green.

We were staying in Staines – we notice that it’s trying to rebrand itself as Staines-upon-Thames and it’s certainly improved since we lived near there. That evening we had a nice walk along the river, stopping for dinner in a pub garden, luxuriating in the warmth even though everybody there kept telling us they were sick of it.

Cos dress SS23; Sunglasses; Boden shoes SS15; Jigsaw bag AW24

After a lazy morning we headed to a party that I mentioned a little while ago – a 50th birthday that had been postponed since lockdown. In the end our friend Marcus decided to link it to his company’s 25th anniversary and celebrate that and his 55th together. Marcus owns Silverdoor, a company that some of you in the corporate world will have heard of – it’s basically Airbnb but for corporate lets. He and his wife Angie started it from their spare room 25 years ago and they now have offices all over the world. The beauty of it though is that as he’s a local Lancashire lad, he was determined to have his HQ in Lancaster. He’s a rare beast in the business world, somebody who runs a multi-million pound business and yet stays true to his down to earth values. The people who work for him are very vocal about the fact that they love him and they love their jobs. Here he is with Angie.

The party was near Heathrow because they brought in staff from every global office and there were so many fabulous outfits from India, China, Africa… I wish I could have taken photos. We had a great time chatting to all kinds of different people but the funniest thing was probably the number of youngsters who came up to us saying, ‘do you recognise me?’ They were all children we’d known in the boys’ school orbit who are now grown up and work for Marcus – he’d booked all the local hotels so that everybody could stay.

It was grey but at least it was warm. I’d been thinking of wearing my orange Me+Em dress but when I was chatting to a London friend a couple of days before she said, “for goodness sake don’t do that. You’re going to be in the home counties so you can’t wear Me+Em, everyone will be able to season and price you in seconds!” And it’s true – there was a LOT of Me+Em so here I am in something you’ve seen a few times over the years.

Top and trousers Next x Emma Willis SS19; Boden shoes and clutch SS16; Mermaid hoops (20% off with code MIDLIFECHIC20, gifted AW24)

We had a fabulous evening and a rather late night as you can tell by my pallid complexion here. As you can probably see we were now at the airport. Back in the cold days of winter when we saw that the dates for our two events in the south were so close together we decided that we’d fill the in-between days with a little break in Dorset or Devon or somewhere like that. When I started looking though it turned out that even with travel it was going to cost less for us to have five nights in Turkey than on the south coast.

We’ve talked a lot about personal geography on here in the past. You may remember that it was a project that my eldest brother introduced me to, of working out which places mean the most to you. Some hold key memories even though you know you’ll never return there, others have an ongoing place in your life simply because you love them and so you keep going back and Turkey is one of those places for us. This time we decided to try Bodrum.

Me+Em Travel Co-ords SS19 (this year’s version now in the sale here); Nike VaporMax trainers SS18

I’ve been to Bodrum before. Back in 1992 I had my first honeymoon there and I wasn’t sure how it would feel to go back, however the flights aligned so well with the few days we had available that somehow it felt meant to be. Back then I chose Turkey because my brother and his then girlfriend had spent a summer travelling through the country and returned with so many stories filled with Eastern promise that I couldn’t wait to see it for myself. At the time I was working on a travel magazine at the BBC called World, we covered all kinds of intrepid travel destinations and my colleagues were distinctly unimpressed that I was going somewhere so ordinary but my heart was set on it – plus we didn’t have the budget to go to Sarawak!

Anyway here we were, just married, snapped by an enterprising street photographer as we were going into a nightclub and as it was the only photo we were going to get of the two of us together, we bought it on the way out. Those of you who’ve been reading for a while know how things panned out, my first husband died a long time ago and I’m not going to go into it again here – but at this moment in May 1992, I was full of hope for the future.

Back to 2025 and Turkey for me is the only place other than home that soothes my soul. I love the fact that its difference in culture and terrain makes it feel as though you’ve really left Europe even though you’ve often only flown as far as Greece. When I’m somewhere that I don’t want to be such as the dentist’s chair, this is where I go to in my mind – I lie back in the water in Turkey looking up at a blue sky framed with bougainvillea and feel the contrast of the cool, silky water with the dry warmth on my face.

We spent our first day doing nothing more than this… oh apart from a Facetime call with the youngest so that we could sit with him while he tried repeatedly to log onto onto Leeds University’s crashing website as the degree results went live. I’ll tell you more about that in next week’s post though.

Boden bikini SS15

Later we wandered out to the harbour… (this outfit is navy blue by the way, the setting sun makes it look black)…

Boden halterneck SS18; Hush skirt AW21; Arket sandals SS23

… to a little restaurant called Trafo that had been recommended to us. It was hidden up a quiet ginnel next to the castle and we were the only non-Turkish people there. It sits up above the tourist drag with a stunning 180 view out over the sea. The food was basic but delicious – it’s a simple place, not one for you if you’re a foodie who likes complicated dishes but if you’re looking for down to earth Turkish food then it’s a wonderful spot.

So let me tell you a little bit about where we were staying because it too was a great find. We both wanted something that would feel quiet and easy. because as you know, life’s been full of twists and turns recently and I’m mentioning this again because so many people wrote to say that they were grateful that I’d given voice to a pain that they live with too. I have to say once again that I had no idea until now of how powerful repressed grief can be, I’ve lost a lot of people but almost always through cancer battles so they’ve allowed me to say slow goodbyes. Mal’s bereavements have all been shocking tragedies and until now he’s just coped but witnessing the pain of somebody young who we love, dealing with the sudden loss of her brother has brought it all crashing into his present. There is no timeline for grief.

For us this break came at the right time. Distance can help with perspective and Turkey was the right place. We wanted to be somewhere that felt utterly uncomplicated – we had in mind a tiny whitewashed hotel near water with flowers and trees – and we found it. I can only call it serendipity because it popped up when I was looking through Tripadvisor and there was only one room left for our dates. That meant it was the lowest spec room in the whole place but that didn’t matter. Despite its many, many five star reviews it had the simplicity we were looking for. There are only about 20 rooms and yet it has a decent sized pool that you can swim properly in. It’s right in the centre of town so you can walk to the marina, castle and bazaar in ten minutes and it’s just a 30 minute taxi ride from the airport. It’s run by a lovely Turkish family and the manageress is a friendly Geordie who has lived in Bodrum for 39 years. She’s ably assisted by TinTin, the sweet little dog who checks in on guests every morning.

It isn’t a luxury hotel, it’s a pared down place for independent travellers – don’t book it if you’re looking for chilled flannels by the pool and sumptuous bathrooms. It’s a little oasis in the heart of a city where you’ll chat to interesting people from all over the world – and there were quite a few women travelling solo there too because it feels safe and relaxing. This gives you the flavour but you can find all the details here and reviews here.

A simple breakfast was served under the trees every morning and as always, sometimes work caught up with me. On this particular day I had an emergency dental appointment to look forward to as well – the temporary implant covering my healing bone graft had been dislodged the night before as I bit into a slice of crusty bread leaving me with a gap. Not what I wanted on holiday but I guess if it had to happen anywhere Turkey was the right place, within half an hour they’d made me a whole new temporary and fixed it in!

Sadly my dentist at home doesn’t have a beach club like this on the doorstep!

Pitusa beach dress SS24

Now here’s a bit of a tale for you. Before we left home we’d been reading about Bodrum’s reputation as an increasingly bougie destination and so on a whim, we booked a slot at Buddha Bar – we fancied just one afternoon away from simplicity… Ibiza style, drinking cocktails and listening to 90s chill. When we told the staff at the hotel where we were going they raised their eyebrows and booked a taxi for us.

Beach dress SS24 (this season’s colours); Sandals

It was quite a drive away around the headland but when we pulled off a dusty track and headed through imposing gates we started to look forward to a different kind of day. We pulled up to a flurry of staff who opened doors and led us to seats in reception. They found our booking and told us that there was a minimum requirement of a £200 pre-payment for lunch which, having done quite a few Ibiza beach clubs for Mal’s 40th, we’d anticipated. We were then led through silent corridors until we emerged into the sunshine with the most immaculate beachscape I’ve ever seen. And my first thought was that it was beautiful… but so very manicured that it felt like a bit of a waste of a day. There was so little character that we could have been anywhere in the world.

Our very nice young Turkish concierge took us straight to the restaurant for lunch…

… and we explained that as it was only 11.30am we’d rather wait a while – perhaps find a sunbed and relax. We could do that he explained, but the £200 only bought us a 90 minute slot in the restaurant and the clock was already ticking, use of the beach was another £100 each.

It wasn’t that we couldn’t pay but as I looked around me I knew that I wouldn’t pay… it just didn’t make sense.

I explained this to our chap and his expression said, ‘quite frankly I don’t blame you.’ So he left us to make our way back to reception and at that point we could quite easily have slipped in for the day – there was nobody managing the swimming pool and because we were through security we were as free to roam as any other guests. But I just didn’t want to be there. As we wandered through the grounds Mal laughed and pointed out that I should at least be a proper influencer and pose for photos so that I could pretend we’d spent a day there. I want to stand for inclusivity not exclusivity though so, we jumped into another taxi and headed further on to Bitez beach which the hotel had recommended to us.

It was quiet and friendly…

… with lots of chilled out beach bars playing Buddha Bar style music!

We relaxed there all day watching this handsome beast doing everything he could to keep cool in the heat of the sun (of course it would be remiss of me not to say that the dog wasn’t bad either!  😉

As we packed up to leave they started replacing the sunbeds with candlelit tables and so even though we were still in our beachwear we just stayed on for dinner, eating right at the edge of the water.

And then before we knew it we’d hit our last day and we spent most of it by the hotel pool wandering out later for something to eat – I’d spent so much of the time in beachwear that it was nice to dress up a bit.

Mara Hoffman dress SS17; Arket sandals SS23

We were up bright and early for our flight the next morning and even though it had only been a few days, we felt so much more relaxed than when we’d arrived. Turkey had worked its usual magic.

John Lewis racer top SS24; Boden towelling shorts SS22

And in a few short hours we found ourselves feeling utterly discombobulated as we checked into a hotel in Surbiton and stepped straight back into our old life. It was almost as hot as it had been in Turkey so I was able to put on one of the dresses I hadn’t worn as we headed out to wait for old friends to tear themselves away from the courts at Wimbledon. While we waited I calculated that I lived in Surbiton for 14 years so it really does feel like home in a way with memories of being a young professional there and then a mum of one, then two, then three little ones. For me though it was always a place of transit, I knew I couldn’t settle there. Even so it was nice to wander round our old haunts, surprisingly little has changed in the 20 years since we left.

Me+Em halter dress SS21; Arket sandals SS23

The next day was one of our most highly anticipated events of the year. Lots of our old London friends go to the Boogietown festival every year and we’ve been trying to get there for ages but the dates have never worked out – and yes, I am wearing a bikini top, it was 34 degrees in London and so you can imagine the afternoon temperatures in the disco tents where sweat was dripping from the canvas!

As the day drew on, the big acts started to appear on the main stage – Sister Sledge, Billy Ocean, UB40 and Kool and The Gang… It was a day of pure old school music joy, even better than we’d hoped thanks to the glorious weather.

Gold tank; White denim shorts; Adidas Gold Stripe Spezial trainers SS24

And the following day there was one more treat in store before the long drive home, lunch with our eldest in a pub garden that we used to frequent when he was little so it was another trip down memory lane for us all. In a way it's right that I should end with him because he's the joyful outcome of that marriage that was celebrated in Bodrum so many years ago. I'm so proud of him; he has the talent and flair of the dad who made him, the gentle strength and humour of the dad who brought him up and, I like to think, his insight and strategic intelligence from me.

Every day he's a solid reminder to me that there's always an upside to the tough times we live through.

Mara Hoffman dress SS17;Sunglasses; Mermaid hoops; Love Knot necklace; Pearl Toggle necklace (20% off with MIDLIFECHIC20, gifted SS25)

And if you're still here - thank you! I'm feeling very excited about the weekend ahead because I have all of my boys at home and we're heading to Leeds to celebrate the youngest's graduation on Monday. I'll tell you about that next week but in the meantime let's all wish England's lionesses lots of luck for Sunday - may those fabulous young women play at the top of their game. Have a lovely weekend and I'll see you next Friday.

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